Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2009. Things may have looked happy here, but they were not really happy. Mattie's situation was terminal. As we know now.... so was Jocelyn's (since Jocelyn lost her battle on April 2, 2014). Jocelyn was the buddy kneeling down next to Mattie. That day in clinic, Mattie, Jocelyn, Brandon (Mattie's big buddy), and Jocelyn's sister (Hannah) decided to have boat races. Not big boats, but boats they built out of cups and other materials which they could race in the sink. If you look closely you can see that Mattie and Jocelyn teamed up together and named their boat, "Team Mattie and Jocelyn." Brandon and Hannah clearly comprised the other Team. Most likely the outcome of these teams was rigged, but it was all in good fun. Mattie let FEW people in while battling cancer, and truly only became friends with Brandon and Jocelyn, both cancer patients much older than him. Yet I have to imagine each of these individuals got something from this bond, which is what kept them together. Two cute faces, who fought the same horrible disease.
Quote of the day: The connections between and among women are the most feared, the most problematic, and the most potentially transforming force on the planet. ~ Adrienne Rich
I received this photo today from an undergraduate student at the Georgetown University. She is participating in the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life. I had the pleasure of meeting this student a few weeks ago when I participated in the "Cookie Friday" ethics presentation. If you look closely at the sign, notice that Michelle placed Mattie's name on it. Mattie is right next to the 'E' in WE! It was lovely to see Mattie remembered. In fact, while I was presenting a few weeks ago, it was very apparent to me that Michelle understood childhood cancer personally. I am good at reading non-verbals while I am talking. After class, Michelle was kind enough to come up to chat with me and to tell me about the loss of her close friend, who would have been graduating with her this year, if he hadn't died from cancer. So unfortunately she understands the horrors of cancer at such a young and tender age. What I have found is cancer has a way of unifying people, regardless of one's background and other demographic differences.
Today at lunch time, I had the opportunity to take another break and meet up with my friend Annie. Annie and I met several years ago. I want to say it was in 2010. But years for me are a lot more gray after Mattie died. Given that Annie lost her daughter in May of 2010, I have to imagine it had to be right after Eloise died. But don't hold me to it, it could have been in 2011. In any case, Annie and I met on Capitol Hill. We both went to a CureSearch advocacy training and then went to lobby on the Hill. Because I live in the District of Columbia and therefore really have no representation on the Hill, I was paired up with Annie who lives in the State of Virginia. One thing led to another, and we clicked. We have been buddies ever since. Annie doesn't live nearby, after all Virginia is a large State, but when she comes into town, we always meet up. She let me know she was coming into town this week, and naturally we always find a way to connect. We connect for many reasons, but we also connect because it is safe to air our feelings. We get each other. We get it when we say..... we are losing friends, people don't understand us, we are feeling blah, how are we going to make it through another birthday, anniversary, holiday, and so forth?! This isn't HAPPY conversation, but this is our reality. A reality that most don't want to hear, a reality that others want to close their eyes and ears to, and a reality that would be safer to say..... this is a Vicki and Annie problem, rather than this is a problem that these women are left to deal with for a lifetime, how can we help?!
At the end of lunch, Annie presented me with packets of seeds. Annie has an amazing garden and can arrange flowers in an incredible artistic fashion. Something I admire. I will do my best with these seeds. She shared with me sunflower seeds! Something I ABSOLUTELY love. I love sunflowers, they have to be one of my favorite flowers! I love their faces as they turn their faces up looking for the sun and then she also shared with me Eloise's favorite flower, the Zinnia. I too happen to love Zinnias, and they are red zinnias, which Mattie would have greatly approved of! So let's see what we can cultivate in our city garden this summer.... in Mattie's and Eloise's memories!
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