Tonight's picture was taken six years ago today, April 25, 2008. Mattie was attending his school's spring fair. Standing next to him was his close kindergarten buddy, Campbell and Campbell's sister, Livi. By that point, Mattie almost had a full year in school and felt very comfortable on his new campus and made some very close and trustworthy friends. The irony was, in 2007, Mattie was invited to this school's spring fair as a newly accepted student. I remember taking Mattie onto the campus, but we never made it off the playground. Mattie wanted nothing to do with the other kids, the noise, or the fair activities. Within a year's time, all that changed! So in April 2007, Mattie wanted nothing to do with the spring fair, in April of 2008, Mattie was in his element, running around and playing with friends. We figured there would be many more elementary spring fairs to come! Wrong. It was our first and last event. By the following April of 2009, Mattie was battling cancer.
Quote of the day: I think if you follow anyone home, whether they live in Houston or London, and you sit at their dinner table and talk to them about their mother who has cancer or their child who is struggling in school, and their fears about watching their lives go by, I think we're all the same. ~ Brene Brown
This morning I drove to the Georgetown University Hospital to donate hundreds of items collected from our April item drive. Literally my car was packed!!! It is times like these that I greatly miss Peter's Ford Explorer! My car can't hold nearly as much! When I drove on campus, I headed to the Emergency Room lay-by area. This is typically where I meet the child life team to unload my car! However, laying by now is becoming more complicated at the Hospital and I had two valet people literally screaming at me. They wanted me to park my car in the garage, rather than lay-by! I tried reasoning with them calmly at first and then when my calm voice wasn't working, and they were still screaming at me, I then let them have it. I turned my ignition off. Got out of the car and told them, I wasn't moving the car! I explained to them that I had a car loaded full of things to donate to the hospital and I had no intention of dragging it through the parking lot! They did not care for my attitude and proceeded to call security over to talk with me. They expected that to intimidate me. You want to know who the officer was? It was Jey!!!!
Jey was Mattie's CT tech. Jey worked with Mattie all the time to transport him up and down to all CT scans. Jey made a huge difference in Mattie's life and ours. But Jey went above and beyond his job description. In fact, Jey called Mattie his "little brother." Jey would visit Mattie often when he was in-patient, he looked out for us, and he simply understood Mattie was traumatized and scared. I also will never forget the day Mattie died. Jey came up to the PICU and escorted Mattie, in his body bag, down to the morgue. He said that no one else was going to take his "little brother" downstairs. Seeing Mattie in a body bag was hard enough, so knowing that Jey was with Mattie, made it feel like he wasn't alone.
Needless to say, Jey helped me get my car into a secure place today and while I was waiting for the child life staff and for my car to get unloaded, I had the chance to talk with Jey and reconnect with him. There are some people that you will always respect because of what they did for you and for your child. Jey is one of those people! This is the beauty for me about coming to Georgetown, or what coming to Georgetown used to mean to me. It was like visiting family. Family that understood, knew, and lived through Mattie's battle with me. Now this family is slowly dwindling.
Jey no longer works in the CT department. He left after Mattie died, but now works in security. Which is why he was outside. Yet despite the job change, I could see he was still out there helping and guiding people. The job title may have changed, but the person doing the job has remained intact. You either have the desire to help people and this is part of your inner compass or it isn't. This is most definitely what guides Jey. It is like his North star. But Jey shared stories about his life today that I never heard before. Of course they are his stories, therefore I can't write about them here, but I always feel privileged when someone shares their deepest most thoughts with me and feelings as to how they got to where they are today.
Jey explained that he did not always approach his job or life with an engaging attitude. He used to keep to himself and appeared aloof. He credits this change to his dad and a particular patient he was assigned to work with one day. However, he freely admits that what keeps him at Georgetown now is Mattie and me. He says he made a promise to me! Which caught me off guard. The promise is he will continue to stay on campus to help people because he remembers me telling him that he made a difference in Mattie's life and in mine. Which is true. It was true then and continues to be true. Cancer care is much more than just the medicine. I certainly remember the medicine, the ravages, the side effects, and its ineffectiveness, but at the end of the day, what will always be remembered is how all of this made us feel. The bad, the ugly, and of course the good. It is people like Jey who made the toxicity of the routine, having to live through hell on earth more bearable. So that of course will never be forgotten, and I am so happy that my comment stuck with him and made a difference in his life. He had no idea that he mattered and that he makes a difference at the hospital. I am glad that someone told him! I also believe that when you allow yourself to hear it from one person, this opens yourself up to hearing it from others.
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