Saturday, May 3, 2014
Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2008. At that point Mattie had just begun chemotherapy and still had some hair. Sitting next to Mattie was his preschool teacher, Margaret. Margaret is a special person to our whole family. She was the first teacher who truly understood and appreciated Mattie and it was within Margaret's classroom that Mattie developed not only as a person but also learned the art of being a friend. Mattie made his first true friendship, with his buddy Zachary, in Margaret's classroom. You have heard of love at first sight, well with Mattie and Zachary, it was friendship at first sight! The beauty of all of this is that as Mattie gained a teacher, I also developed a close friend. In a way, Margaret and I related to each other immediately not unlike Mattie and Zachary, and now almost ten years later this feeling remains.
Quote or in this case Poem of the day:
These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong
and full of love,
that hold yours on your wedding day. These are the hands that will work along side yours as you
build your future together. These are the hands that will passionately love you and care
for you throughout the years. These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief
torments your mind and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no
other. These are the hands that will give you strength when you
struggle, and support and encouragement to chase down your dreams. These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children,
and help keep your family together as one. These are the hands that will, countless times, wipe the
tears from your eyes, tears of sorrow, and tears of joy. And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled with
age, will still be reaching for yours,
still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a
touch---- a touch from these hands. ~ Author Unknown
I had the opportunity to visit my friend Margaret today. The person photographed above. Unfortunately Margaret no longer looks the way she does in that photo, because she is battling a horrific neurological disease. I do not talk about Margaret on this blog because this is her story, not mine, and out of respect for her wishes, I am not saying much more. Yet it is very challenging for me to see another close friend of mine succumb to another horrible disease, trapped within her own body. The cornerstone of our relationship used to be talking and relating to each other, and now this is no longer possible. Thanks to technology, I had the opportunity to watch Margaret's niece's wedding live today through Skype with her! The wedding was in Upstate New York and yet we were watching it virtually.
I must admit I like watching weddings now as much as I like attending funerals. I am not sure why. But I do not care for weddings anymore. Perhaps to me they signify something happy, but happiness that has the potential to be clouded with such potential loss. Naturally not every marriage will lead to a child having cancer, but yet given the fact that two classrooms a day are being diagnosed in the US with cancer, I am not the only one! So to me, weddings symbolize the start of the unknown, the calm before the storm.
Today's wedding was particularly symbolic because it was held outside literally minutes before an ominous rain storm. You could see the clouds and dark sky rolling in! I would have to say the most meaningful part of the ceremony was when the aunt of the bride read the poem I posted tonight called "These Hands." I have never heard of this poem before. She warned us before reading it that even saying the words made her cry! I honestly had no idea what she possibly could be sharing with us that would evoke such emotion. Until she started to talk!
I have to imagine the depths of this poem are lost on the twentysomethings in the crowd, but those of us who are a bit older, who have experienced illness, tragedy, crisis, and loss, get this poem to its core. Surviving any of these things long term requires a solid spouse by our side. These are "the hands" you want with you always if you should be lucky enough to find the right ones to begin with. I think why this poem impacted me and most likely Margaret so deeply is because we have seen our spouses tested to the limits and know they can handle the happiness, the joy, but also the sadness, the crisis, the devastation, and yet they remain steadfast and by our sides. Seems to me the ultimate testament of a relationship and a marriage.
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