Tonight's picture was taken on July 13 of 2009. We were in clinic that day celebrating Brandon's 19th birthday. With us was of course Jocelyn. In many ways, they were the three amigos, Mattie, Brandon, and Jocelyn! In this photo was Mattie, his wonderful nurse Katie, and of course Jocelyn! As you can see the art therapy table was filled to capacity with excitement, which was not an unusual occurrence with Jenny and Jessie (Mattie's art therapists), but certainly with Mattie present things were a buzz. If you look closely at the photo, you will see that Mattie created an alligator clip, and naturally like all good alligators this fellow caught someone's finger in his mouth!
Quote of the day: Sharing tales of those we've lost is how we keep from really losing them. ~ Mitch Albom
It is funny how the mind works and how one event can trigger a host of memories. After Jocelyn's celebration of life event yesterday, I was bothered about several chain of events because I couldn't remember when I met Jocelyn's sisters before. Then my mind began playing tricks on me. Had I ever met them before? Or was it only Peter and his parents who met them before in clinic and it was through their stories that I feel I know them? Well this question has been going around in my head since yesterday.
Thankfully in moments like this, I turn to my institutional record, THE BLOG! As I was trying to put time, place, and events together in my mind, Brandon's birthday kept surfacing in memory. So today, I searched the blog under "July 13th." Sure enough, this was when the first "boat races" took place and I met Jocelyn's youngest sister Hannah. It all took place on Brandon's 19th birthday party in clinic. I remember that birthday because Toni (Brandon's mom) held an ice cream party! A woman after my own heart! Brandon wore a king's crown party hat and the three amigos had a great time with each other that day, and I distinctly remember Toni telling me that Mattie called Brandon "his best friend." These are snippets of memories that stay with me always, but I can't quite get the sequencing correct at times. But I am so happy I could check back on the blog because as Peter was talking about boat races yesterday with Jocelyn's sisters, part of me wondered whether I ever saw these races or missed them altogether. Certainly in the grand scheme of things, maybe it doesn't matter. After all I was there for practically everything, but I tried not to miss out on anything in Mattie's life and the boat races were memorable. It was memorable because it was a symbolic connection between true friends. Those types of moments, I don't like missing.
As I looked back at the blog tonight, THANKFULLY, I confirmed that I hadn't lost my mind, that I did see the boat races and that I did meet Hannah, one of Jocelyn's sisters in person. If you want to read what happened back on July 13th of 2009, I attached the link below:
http://mattiebear.blogspot.com/2009/07/monday-july-13-2009.html
Mitch Albom's quote is quite accurate, because sharing tales, stories, and memories are crucial to me. Losing Jocelyn is a blow for us. It is hard to see a vibrant, bright, and beautiful person inside and outside die of a horrible disease. She died too young, and with her also goes memories of Mattie. So in a way it feels like a double loss if that is at all possible. I can no longer turn to Jocelyn for help remembering things. I have to remember them both her and Mattie and thankfully I tried to keep some sort of written record because while battling Mattie's disease, it was very hard to keep track of the days, much less make sense out of them. I still can't remember whether I went to clinic that summer day with Peter and his parents when they met Jocelyn and her sisters. It was that day that a big boat race took place in clinic. My hunch is I wasn't there, because I honestly have no recollection on that day, and yet part of me feels like I was there! Why this should be so upsetting, I have NO idea, but it is!
We have been working all day on Foundation things, but I feel absolutely out of it. In the midst of that, Peter and I head to Columbus, OH on Wednesday. We are delivering a keynote address at the APHOES conference (http://www.aphoes.wildapricot.org/Resources/Documents/2014%20Joint%20Conference%20Registration%20Booklet.pdf). This is very exciting for the Foundation. This is our first keynote engagement but I have to say it has been a very active year for Mattie Miracle and with the Walk fast approaching, I can safely say that I need some down time ASAP.
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