Sunday, May 11, 2014

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2007, on Mother's Day. That day we went out together as a family for Mother's Day lunch and as you can see Mattie was very excited. He was trying to indicate with his arm gesture his love for me. It was very cute and a priceless moment in time. I never thought that there wouldn't be more Mother's days to come when this photo was taken. The sad commentary in all of this is that I do not have many mother's day photos with Mattie. Mattie was an active little one and eating in restaurants wasn't his thing. Therefore it was only as he approached elementary school age did Mattie somewhat understand the notion of sitting still to eat. Of course in 2008, Mattie developed cancer, so we did not have many times to formally celebrate this occasion together, which is why this is my typical Mother's Day photo that I post from year to year. Mattie dying at a young age was not only tragic but it also left large holes in our lives, which are very hard to fill, especially on a National holiday such as this one.  


The origin of Mother's Day in the US: In the United States, Mother's Day did not become an official holiday until 1915. Its establishment was due largely to the perseverance and love of one daughter, Anna Jarvis. Anna's mother had provided strength and support as the family made their home in West Virginia and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania where her father served as a minister. As a girl, Anna had helped her mother take care of her garden, mostly filled with white carnations, her mother's favorite flower. When Mrs. Jarvis died on May 5, 1905, Anna was determined to honor her. She asked the minister at her church in West Virginia to give a sermon in her mother's memory. On the same Sunday in Philadelphia, their minister honored Mrs. Jarvis and all mothers with a special Mother's Day service. Anna Jarvis began writing to congressmen, asking them to set aside a day to honor mothers. In 1910, the governor of West Virginia proclaimed the second Sunday in May as Mother's Day and a year later every state celebrated it.


I find it particularly interesting to read about the origins of Mother's Day in the United States. What intrigues me about it is that it did not start as a fun fanfare. On the contrary, the origin of Mother's Day is tied to LOSS. A woman was grieving over the loss of her mom, and her minister delivered a sermon in her mother's honor and then decided to acknowledge all mothers in attendance during the service. From that moment on, this minister and this woman's daughter changed the significance of the second Sunday in May for all of us in the United States. The loss, grief, and pain of the death of a loved one can inspire great things. The death of Anna Jarvis' mom did just that. This does not surprise me in the least. What does surprise me is that I NEVER knew this story until today!

I would have to say today was an emotionally challenging day. I spent the entire day working. I am not sure if it is a good or bad thing that the Foundation's Walk is always a week after Mother's Day. It basically prevents me from having to face Mother's Day. As more and more time lapses from Mattie's death, celebrating Mother's Day becomes more awkward. Going out and being among people on this day is even more uncomfortable. On such days, I feel as if I am not a part of this world, and certainly not a part that is understood. I could disengage and no one really would know the difference. 

Toward the end of the day, I had a meltdown and shared my feelings with Peter. Peter handled it well as always, he helped me to regroup, and we ate dinner outside on our deck. 

The highlight of the day was Peter cleaned out Mattie's Fountains. I call them Mattie's fountains, because in the summer of 2008, Mattie and Peter built me two fountains for my birthday. I love the sound of water, and Mattie knew this! Despite having a horrible winter and our deck receiving some massive blows, the fountains managed to hold their own! As I always say, they were built by two masters! Here is the first fountain, as you can see surrounded by our beautiful plants! What you may not be able to see is inside the fountains are many of Mattie's rocks that he collected!

I snapped this photo, because at this angle, you can only see the tip of the Fountain through the plants, which is the view I see when sitting outside. 

This is the second Mattie Fountain
on our deck. This one is a completely different design. Made out of flower pots! Inside this fountain are many of Mattie's seashells that he collected! 

Within Mattie's room, which is also where my desk and work area are located, I am starting to accumulate various piles for the Walk! It took me hours today to compile a lot of the things you see here. 

Here is another pile on the other side of the room. Organized chaos is beginning. But it has to be organized because in all reality we do not have a long time to set up this event, and there are many pieces that have to come together for it to fall into place correctly!