Saturday, October 17, 2015

Saturday, October 17, 2015

Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2008. Mattie went over to Campbell's house, a good friend of his from kindergarten class. Mattie was home between treatments and had a good day playing, eating Halloween cookies, and just being a child. I wish I could say that Mattie always wanted to play and interact with his friends. He did in the beginning, but after his second limb salvaging surgery, the stress of his treatment, the pain, and his experiences of living in the hospital long-term began to have detrimental effects. The vivacious and engaging Mattie disappeared and he preferred to isolate himself and disengage from those around him. 


Quote of the day: The human person cannot face up to a bad outcome, that's just the deal. ~ Barbara Kingsolver

While Peter is away, my friend Heidi contacted me and asked if I wanted to meet today for lunch and shopping! It was a frigid day and blustery! The sun was out earlier in the morning but by mid-day it was grey and overcast. We had a lovely lunch by the Potomac River in Alexandria and then walked around together browsing and shopping. It was a nice way to spend the day, because being alone after Mattie died is challenging. Especially on a weekend. I can't explain why this is, but it is! Weekends in general are difficult for Peter and me, because without Mattie in our lives we are a bit directionless. Ironically we weren't like this before Mattie was born, but once Mattie entered our world and we raised him for seven years, we got used to being a family of three. 

Peter and his parents drove to Bates College in Maine today to see Nat, our nephew, play in a variety soccer game. Peter kept me posted with photos, and I can only IMAGINE how cold it was sitting outside watching that game!