Thursday, October 27, 2016

Thursday, October 27, 2016


Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2006. Mattie loved Patches our calico cat and wanted to be her for Halloween. Well actually he wanted to be Patches in 2005, so Mattie and I made this costume together from scratch. However in 2005, Mattie developed sepsis and landed up in the hospital overnight for several days over Halloween. Thankfully the costume was made out of sweat suit material and by 2006, it fit Mattie perfectly. 








Quote of the day: There is no point treating a depressed person as though she were just feeling sad, saying, 'There now, hang on, you'll get over it.' Sadness is more or less like a head cold- with patience, it passes. Depression is like cancer.  ~  Barbara Kingsolver


Given how I was feeling last night, my lifetime friend, Karen, sent me the article below entitled, "I'll Never be 100% Again." The article in essence is about a comedian who tragically and unexpectedly lost his wife. The article describes his reaction to her death, how he is dealing with grief, and how this impacts his comedy routines. Which is interesting in and of itself, because for the most part people don't talk about grief in our society. It makes people very uncomfortable and it is a conversation stopper! So if he can do integrate grief into his act in a way that makes the subject more approachable..... I think that is great. Grief is a long term issue and it affects a countless number of people. But given that people rarely talk about it, it is a silent killer that can eat you alive.  

I find it very refreshing to hear a man who lost his wife state.... "I'll never be 100% again!" I say refreshing because he is acknowledging the depth of the loss and how he doesn't expect in a week, two weeks, or a year that he will bounce back. Or worse return to the way things used to be. Because in all reality..... they won't! His life is permanently altered as is their daughter's! 

I attached the article below, but the paragraph in the whole article that literally jumped off the page to me was.........

As serious fans of his comedy know, Mr. Oswalt has suffered from depression, but this, he said, was far worse. “Depression is more seductive,” he said. “Its tool is: ‘Wouldn’t it be way more comfortable to stay inside and not deal with people?’ Grief is an attack on life. It’s not a seducer. It’s an ambush or worse. It stands right out there and says: ‘The minute you try something, I’m waiting for you.’”

I love his descriptions of grief as being an "attack on life," or "an ambush," which can leave you with a great deal of helplessness and fear. So much so that it can prevent you from trying new things or venturing out to live in the world. Mainly because you live braced in anticipation for the next situation, person, or event to set you off, which can send you spiraling further downward in your own sadness, anger, and disillusionment. So what do you do? Do you try to move forward with the pain and be a part of our everyday society, or do you retreat to your inner world in which you feel protected from the sensitivities of life? I would say anyone dealing with grief does both! I know my own inner thoughts and feelings but when I hear aspects of them expressed through the words of others (like in this article)..... I take notice.   


I'll Never Be 100% Again:

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/30/arts/patton-oswalt-ill-never-be-at-100-percent-again.html?_r=0