Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2006. It was during Memorial Day Weekend. We took a weekend trip to Pennsylvania Dutch Country and toured the farms, went on Amish wagon rides, and also went to Sesame Street Place. Mattie loved the whole experience and staying at a hotel. While in the hotel room, Mattie took my camera and photographed his cute feet! Which is what you are seeing tonight.
Quote of the day: When you show deep empathy toward others, their defensive energy goes down, and positive energy replaces it. That's when you can get more creative in solving problems. ~ Stephen Covey
For the past several days, I have talked to various people who are pining over the fact that their child is graduating from high school and moving onto college. I am sure if Mattie were still alive, I would eventually fall into this category of parents. But since I am not afforded this opportunity because my child is permanently gone, I definitely have a different take and perspective on high school graduation.
For the most part, I keep my thoughts to myself, because I know when someone is expressing concern and pain, adding your pain to the mix is NOT helpful. But while listening, I internally am chuckling. Chuckling because as moms tell me their feelings, raw emotions, and concerns about these pending changes to their family, I am internally pausing and wondering..... do these people know who they are talking to???? If anyone gets saying good-bye to one's child.... THAT'S ME! The clear and direct difference however, is my child won't be graduating, won't be going to college, and has NO future.
However, with that said, I always believe (unless having a BAD day and feel threatened) in communicating with empathy. If you want to be able to connect deeply with someone, that means you need to listen, process, and feel what they are saying. Without doing all these things, relationships are meaningless. Of course listening empathetically can be tiring and perhaps one-sided. Nonetheless, it is very rewarding to see people's faces when they realize they are being understood, that you think their feelings are valid, and yet at the same time try to reframe their thinking about a situation in a more positive light. If no positive light can be found, then the hope is that tomorrow one will feel differently, if not, the next day, etc!
1 comment:
Vicki,
Just love the picture of Mattie's feet. I love the blogs that talk about the many places, you took Mattie! Those memories must mean so much.
I love the rest of your blog too. For many reasons, one it's' total truthfulness - seriously, someone would talk about change in their family because a child is graduating!!!! The honesty of the entire post, should give everyone pause. Where we all step back and think about our conversations with friends. Do we consider, their thoughts, feelings & life when we share. You are a good friend to many when you try to give insight to their issues when they are directly in contrast to the fact, Mattie will never get to experience any of those things, ever!
You are a good friend to many with your own empathetic heart to everyoneđź’–
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