Tonight's picture was taken in January of 2009. Hard to believe this was 10 years ago, as it seems just like yesterday. Mattie was home from the hospital and doing what he always loved... playing with boxes. In fact, he took a box we received and transformed it into a bicycle helmet. A sad commentary though, as after Mattie had his limb salvaging surgeries he was never able to walk to bicycle ride again. Yet this speaks to Mattie's spirit, because his physical limitations did not limit his creativity.
Quote of the day: The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. ~ Aldous Huxley
I am not sure if it is coincidental or what, but I happen to be reading a fiction book by Jodi Picoult called Leaving Time. What is described in the book, I feel like I experienced today. The book focuses on a story of a young girl who is desperately searching for her missing mom, who vanished under suspicious circumstances. In any case, the young girl goes to see a psychic in hopes she can help her. The psychic says the following..........
You ever hear the phone ring, and pick it up, and just get dead air? That could be a spirit, trying to tell you something. They're energy, so the easiest way for them to try to get your attention is by manipulating energy. Phone lines, computer glitches, turning lights on and off.
I got into my car today, and the center console which houses the radio and GPS, wasn't working. It instead glowed blue. It did this for about thirty minutes and then it returned back to normal. Similarly I went to do laundry today and put my clothes in the machine. It was working just fine while loading the clothes, but then all of a sudden the console that lights up went completely dark. As if someone had plugging the electric chord in the back of the machine. The machine never turned back on again for the rest of the day. I have been doing laundry for decades in our complex and this has never happened to me before. How do I explain two very different, yet very unique electrical disturbances today? Well I suppose if I wanted to be scientific about it, I would look for the most logical and rational explanations for these anomalies. However, because Jodi Picoult's novel is floating around in my mind, and because I will always be a grieving mom, to me the connection is clear. Or at least how I wish to interpret it is clear and that is Mattie was communicating with me.
In fact, I am quite certain shortly after he died, Mattie communicated with me through our front car seat. One evening, I got into the car and found the front passenger seat pushed all the way back, like I used to have it when Mattie was recovering from limb salvaging surgery. He had a huge cast on his leg and his leg needed to be propped up straight in the seat in front of him. Mind you I had not moved the seat like this before leaving the car. Peter was no where near the car and no one accessed the car until I returned to it. There was NO explanation AT ALL for this occurrence. I can't even see science explaining that. Second incident after Mattie died.... I was driving in the car with the radio off (it's interesting that the occurrences always happen in the car!!!). However, all of a sudden the radio magically went on by itself and was playing ABBA's Dancing Queen. The song Mattie identified with when participating in physical therapy. Again, how do you explain the radio turning on? Not only turning on but playing Mattie's song!? Like today, I interpreted those incidents as Mattie trying to tell me something.
I am not sure what Mattie is telling me today. Perhaps he knows we are presenting at his school next week and with that he wants us to know that he is behind us in spirit. I must admit prior to losing Mattie, this spirit conversation would have been lost on me and I would have thought the young character in Picoult's book was absolutely desperate and not thinking clearly because of her grief. All plausible, because grief isn't logical! However, grief does make us more vulnerable and at the same time open to hearing and accepting alternative thinking. In any case, it leaves me with a positive feeling to think that Mattie was trying to reach out to me today.
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