Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2008. Mattie was in his first month of treatment and as you can see he was already losing his hair. The one saving grace in all of this was that Mattie loved to create. An activity that did not require gross motor movement. We spent countless hours that year designing, building, coloring, and creating. In this photo Mattie was building and decorating a tissue box holder. To this day, this tissue box holder sits on my nightstand and holds my tissues. I never thought about it at the time, but every item Mattie generated became part of his incredible legacy.
Quote of the day: To expect the unexpected shows a thoroughly modern intellect. ~ Oscar Wilde
After I got my dad up, showered, dressed, and completed breakfast, he was off to his memory care center. I have booked all my mom's therapy appointments and testing, on days my dad goes to the memory care center. As it would be next to impossible juggling both of my parents at once.
My mom worked hard in physical therapy today. My mom has a condition called Spasmodic Torticollis. It is a disorder where the muscles of the neck contract uncontrollably making the head turn into various postures. It can be caused by a neurologic disorder (which we are trying to figures out with further testing!) or as a result of an accident. The spasms tend to worsen when a person stands or walks, making simple tasks difficult.
The physical therapist is doing a great job and is working on strengthening my mom's core as well as improving my mom's posture and balance. I mentioned to the therapist the importance of having a mirror in front of my mom when performing these exercises. Otherwise, it is very hard for my mom to understand the aspects of her posture that we are trying to correct. I am NO physical therapist, but I have done enough PT for myself, Mattie, and my dad to know what is necessary and is helpful. The therapist thought the mirror addition was a great idea and I hope she incorporates this in future sessions.
After the session, my mom wanted to go to lunch. I take her to a local restaurant on days my dad is at the Center. Therefore, I have gotten to know a particular server. She is a young woman, most likely in her late twenties. I mention this because I do think with age, comes perspective and a deeper appreciation for the frailties of life. I suppose the ONE benefit to aging, this level of introspection and sensitivity!
The server mentioned that when she was in high school, her teacher told his students that they should expect the unexpected in life and therefore will never be disappointment. I imagine his message was a derivation of Oscar Wilde's quote. When she told me this, I thought, good for the teacher! But now that I am home, I frankly think such a profound statement is lost on a teenager. I am not saying that teens are not faced with all sorts of losses and traumas these days. They are, but even so, I do think that how these losses and traumas are processed differs greatly depending upon our age and experiences. Should a teenager have to absorb this message.... to expect the unexpected? My simple answer is NO!
The beauty of youth is to be hopeful, to think big, to not be harnessed by reality that impacts possibilities. We have a lifetime to face reality and understand that life doesn't go as planned. As a teenager, would I have wanted to know that I was going to have a child who got cancer and died or have parents impacted cognitively? NO, NO, and NO.
In addition, this server mentioned that she is happy to see us each week. I explained to her a little bit about my dad and why we are able to go to lunch alone because my dad is at a memory care center for a few hours. Again, it is the beauty of youth. She said she understood and then started telling me about her 93 year old grandmother who lives INDEPENDENTLY! Though she was making conversation, unfortunately there is NO comparison to a 93 year old living independently to what I am managing in my home daily. I did not get upset by her conversation, I just made a mental note. Needless to say I have many mental notes that have been made since my parent's moved in.
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