Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2007. Mattie was attending his friend, Kazu's birthday party. Mattie met Kazu that summer during camp. I will never forget that summer and the fact that Kazu was Mattie's first friend at his new elementary school. I purposefully sent Mattie to his school's summer camp so he could meet kids and establish friends before school started months later. I was successful, because Kazu and his family are still significant parts of our life today.
When Mattie walked into the gymnasium of summer camp on the first day (in 2007), he was scared and very shy. Mattie came home that day after camp and he wasn't happy. So the next morning, I marched right into the gym with him and started looking around. Most of the kids had their clicks/groups already, but I noticed a little fellow by himself. I went over to him and asked his name. He told me his name was Kazu. I then introduced Mattie and Kazu to each other and told them it would be a great idea to stick together during camp. I took a chance on this connection and it worked out beautifully. Better than I could have ever imagined.
Quote of the day: Unable are the loved to die. For love is immortality. ~ Emily Dickinson
This morning, I had my six month dental cleaning. Which meant I had to get up early in order to accomplish my typical routine before I had to leave the house. Every time I can get this routine done, it feels like a major accomplishment for me. Driving in the car by myself, without anyone in tow, with no other responsibilities, felt FANTASTIC!!!! It was three hours away and as I joked with the hygienist...... who knew that a dental cleaning could feel like a trip to the spa?!!! She is a lovely person and she started my day off right.
My dentist is near where I used to live in Washington, DC. So in driving there, I pass our townhouse complex and the George Washington University, where I went to school. I saw countless students walking on the sidewalks and it reminded me..... school is back in session. Honestly (just like when I cared for Mattie) with caregiving, I have no real concept for what season it is. Each day feels exactly like the day before and the responsibilities never seem to lighten up. I remember our days living in Washington, DC and the cyclical nature of the university students coming and then going home for the summer. We no longer have this ritual outside our windows orienting me to the seasons. However, while walking to the dentist office (after parking the car), I passed countless homeless tents and people soliciting me for money. In addition, the two smells I no longer miss are: urine on the streets and marijuana. So there are some benefits to living in the country.
Meanwhile, my dad's friend is still in town. He is here until Thursday. He originally told us he was leaving today. Given my parent's energy levels, they really can't take a week of visitors. So we had to break it to him that for the next three days, he is on his own. My dad is literally exhausted and what saddens me is that his friend is not stimulating my dad's memory, and my dad seems indifferent to the visit. I think visiting someone with dementia means that you are going to have to rise to the occasion and share your recollection of memories you share with my dad. We are all my dad's institutional knowledge now because he is like a blank slate.
My parents have a tradition of going to Morton's with this friend. So I made this tradition happen, as we went to Morton's last night. Dinner was a disaster of grand proportion. My dad needs consistency, routine, and has to know his server. I have worked hard since December creating this consistency and finding servers at each of the three restaurants we go to, who cater to my dad big time. I think going to a new restaurant for my dad set him off, on top of him being physically exhausted. My dad practically fell asleep at dinner and then had an attack of his irritable bowel syndrome issue. I took him to the bathroom multiple times, and had to clean him and change his depends each time. I will spare you the details, but it was a mess. So much so, that it was hard to eat at all after this. While I felt I ran a marathon that night, my dad's friend thought the night went so well. All I could say is, really??? Were we at the same dinner? I have now vowed that we are not going to new restaurants and especially steak houses as my dad seems to have no energy any more to chew beef. I know my life is crazy, but all new experiences remind me of this on a much grander scale.
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