This is a story of a young boy who lost his life to a 14 month battle with childhood cancer, and the subsequent grief that his mom lives with since his death
A Remembrance Video of Mattie
Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!
Dear Mattie Blog Readers,
It means a great deal to me that you take the time to write and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful and help support me through very challenging times. I am forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically have stopped writing on September 9, 2010. However, like my journey with grief there is so much that still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with me, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.
As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki
Tuesday, September 13, 2022 -- Mattie died 676 weeks ago today.
Tonight's picture was taken in September of 2008. Mattie was home between treatments and as you can see we already needed IV hydration back then. It was early on in Mattie's treatment but chemo impacted his ability to eat and drink. Therefore, I would say that Mattie lived on IV hydration for a year. I remember back then how challenging it seemed to maneuver an IV pole. That was the least of our problems, and it is funny how one puts things into context quickly. Mattie loved Patches our cat, and when he was dying he wanted Patches in the hospital. This request wasn't honored. I understand why, but these two never got a chance to say good-bye to each other. Patches was devoted to Mattie and she understood quickly the day Mattie was born that he took priority and she had to behave around him. We did not train her, she was just a smart cat!
Quote of the day: Grief does not change you. It reveals you. ~ John Green
Last evening we had a torrential rain storm, after which the sun came out. I told Peter... let's look for rainbows! We opened our front door, and we saw a double rainbow. I have never seen such a vibrant and vivid rainbow. The colors were practically jumping out at us.
This is Miss Indie! She is a very curious cat and where ever we go, she wants to follow. She wanted to know why we had the door open and came to examine all the activity.
Look at these vivid colors!
It was another busy day. I got up at 6am, in order to get my parents out the door by 9:20am. My dad had a doctor's appointment this morning. I can't tell you how stressful morning appointments are as I feel like I am herding cats. By the time I get into the car, I feel like I have gone ten rounds.
My dad met with his physical rehab doctor. This is the doctor who cared for him back in March, post pacemaker placement. Back then my dad spent a second week in the hospital in acute rehab trying to regain strength. My dad has NO MEMORY of spending two weeks in the hospital. I mean NOTHING! He doesn't even remember this doctor we visited today. This is the same doctor that has prescribed my dad PT, OT and speech therapy in the outpatient clinic. I feel this is an important contact for my dad and us, just in case he lands up in the hospital again. The doctor felt that my dad looked like a night and day difference from March. Mainly because I am feeding my dad well and keeping him as active as possible. The doctor basically said that I am doing a good job and the pulmonologist who saw my mom about a week ago, said the same thing to me. All I know is I am working around the clock to keep them stable.
After the doctor appointment, I got my parents in the car and we filled the car up with gas and went to the post office. I then returned them back to the hospital, as my dad had a physical therapy appointment. Before the appointment we sat in the hospital atrium for about thirty minutes and my mom and I had hot tea, we listened to the piano music, and even saw a beautiful quilt display on 9/11. It was actually very moving.
I came across this short video of two doctors who basically started out their career that day at Virginia Hospital Center's ER. Apparently these two physicians are still at the hospital and I can only imagine how the day transformed them. The president of the hospital discussed how the team of doctors and nurses that day were expecting mass casualties and were lining up outside the hospital. But unfortunately the reality sunk in, that most of the people at the Pentagon were consumed by the horrific plane crash and the fire that ensued.
The hospital's atrium features this beautiful handmade quilt and countless plaques and awards given to the hospital for their outstanding care provided on 9/11. This is the closest hospital geographically to the Pentagon.
A photograph captured on 9/11/01 showing the healthcare teams waiting outside the ER for victims of the Pentagon attack.
With heavy hearts, we said goodbye to our precious Mattie when he died on September 8, 2009 at 7:15am. He fought death for five hours, and he finally fell into a deep sleep. My hunch is he did not want to say good-bye to us, and it took massive amounts of drugs to ease his suffering.
Mattie in Summary
Diagnosis timetable: July 23, 2008 - tumor in the right humerus; August 1, 2008 - tumor in the left humerus; August 6, 2008 - tumors in the right femur and left radius. On August 6, Mattie was officially diagnosed with Multifocal Synchronous Osteosarcoma. Tumor Resection and Limb salvage surgeries (repiphysis): on October 20, 2008 and November 12, 2008. Percentage of Necrosis: 60% in right humerus; 80% in left humerus; 100% in left radius; 2% in right femur. Chemo began on August 8, 2008: High Dose Methotrexate, Cisplatin, Doxorubicin; Ifosfamide, and Etoposide were added to the treatment protocol on December 1, 2008; MTP-PE was added to the treatment protocol on January 12, 2009. Chest CT scans post surgery:December 5, 2008 – four 3mm lung lesions; January 8, 2009 – CT scans reveal no change in the lung lesions; March 19, 2009 - CT scans reveal slight changes in two of the lesions. With potential increases in size of up to 1-2 mm per lesion. On June 5, 2009, CT scans at 1.5mm cuts (so very refined cuts) revealed that Mattie's lung lesions doubled in size since January. The four lesions are now 8-9mm in size, indicating that Chemotherapy is not working. Median Sternotomy: June 15th, 2009, removed 9 lesions, four in the left lung and five in the right lung. We do know that two of the lesions had calcified indicating bone material was present. This confirms that the bone cancer has metastasized to the lungs and that Mattie's chemotherapy was not effective at fighting the cancer in his lungs. PET Scan: There appears to be a possible variant (i.e something abnormal) in the lower left femur, but as of now it is too small to determine what it really is. Normally, one would biopsy this, but the location is difficult as it involves the growth plate, and with lung surgery imminent, and Mattie just being off of chemo, the advice we're getting is to wait and watch, and to see what it looks like during the next scan. Echocardiogram: Mattie has a reduced LVEF (Left Ventricle Ejection Fraction), which in layman terms means that his heart is not pumping with its normal level of pressure. Although it is not at a dangerous level, the doctors do want to monitor it with a follow-up echo in a few months to determine if this is a temporary impairment or if long term damage has been done.
Washington Post Article on my Work
An article was published on July 24, 2010, in the Washington Post's Metro section.
Many thanks to Post Reporter Rick Rojas, for covering a great story! To read the article on the Post's website, click HERE
Washington Post Article on Reach the Day and Mattie's Blog
In the July 2nd, 2009 edition of the Washington Post, our story and our blog were briefly mentioned in an article regarding CureSearch's Reach The Day event, held June 22-23, 2009 on Capitol Hill.
Click HERE for a link to read the article on the Washington Post's web site.
Mattie's Channel 9 Story
To watch the YouTube version of Mattie's video, click Mattie's News Story
or
to Read the actual story on the 9NewsNow site, click HERE
Mattie's Situation
Mattie Had Bone Cancer Mattie had a bone cancer called Osteosarcoma. The diagnosis was: multi-focal, synchronous osteosarcoma. He had four tumors in his extremities: the upper portions of the right and left Humerus, which is the bone that connects the shoulder to the two lower arm bones (the radius and ulna), the lower (distal) left radius (right near the wrist) and the lower (distal) right femur (just above the knee joint). Although commonly found in adults, this type of bone cancer is very, very rare when found in six year old children.
Mattie started chemotherapy on Thursday, August 7, 2008, consisting of several five week cycles containing five types of drugs (Doxorubicin, Cisplatin, high dose Methotrexate, Ifosfamide and Etopicide). After the second cycle Mattie underwent a surgery (Oct. 20) to remove the tumor in his right humerus, and then a second surgery (Nov. 12) to remove the other three tumors. Mattie had three prostheses (both arms and the leg) that use the Repiphysis technology. We also tried an experimental drug called L-MTP-PE in the effort to give Mattie the best fighting chance of survival. It's a shame it wasn't enough.
All of our Family and Friends have done so many wonderful and amazing things for us to help Mattie. For that we are forever grateful. We want you all to know that we cannot thank you enough for these things and your selfless acts of kindness. We cannot adequately express how much your love, caring and devoted attention to Mattie meant to us. God Bless each and every one of you.
We made a deal from the beginning with Mattie to never lie to him about his situation, and we talked him through each step of the way. Mattie knew he had "some bad bugs" in some of his bones, and he knew that the drugs he was given were to kill the bugs, and the surgeries were meant to remove the bugs from his body. Mattie even requested from Dr. Bob Henshaw (who performed the surgery) "to let me keep a bone" once the procedures were over. Mattie did get several pictures of the procedures which he always thought were really neat.
This kind of statement only furthered our immense respect and astonishment that we had for Mattie and his emotional intellect, intelligence, and maturity. It was amazing that a six year-old could so quickly rationalize and embrace a situation and keep such a strong and positive attitude going, when his parents were a pair of emotional and physical trainwrecks. The irony is that Mattie gave us our strength to go on at a time when we should have been giving him his strength to fight.
Mattie's life during the 13 months of fighting cancer was not a normal one, even though we did whatever was humanly possible to make it as normal as possible. Fortunately, we have good friends who helped us get to the right doctors and to the program at the Lombardi Center in what everyone says was record-breaking time, who embraced us and helped us with what was unquestionably the greatest challenge of our lives. Of course, without our family and good friends, life would be a whole lot tougher than it is right now, so for those of you who are reading this, all we can say is Thank You and We Love You. God Bless.
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