Wednesday, December 21, 2022

Wednesday, December 21, 2022

Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2005. Mattie was three and half years old and that Christmas we were visiting Peter's parents in Boston. It had snowed and Peter took Mattie outside of the house and tried sledding with him. Peter's parents have a big hill in front of their house, and literally they did not have to go far for this snow adventure. Mattie was game to try it, but only if Peter would do it with him. 

Quote of the day: It seems to me that one of the great luxuries of life at this point is to do one thing at a time. One thing to which you give yourself wholeheartedly, uni-tasking. ~ Michael Pollan

Yesterday, or so I thought, I prepared my parents for the fact that Peter was going to have a colonoscopy today. I took my parents out to eat yesterday, because I did not want Peter to have to smell food cooking in the house. The colonoscopy prep, from my perspective is a killer. Peter manages very well, but it isn't easy being on a clear diet all day. I focus on my parents 24/7, 7 days a week. All I was asking was a day in which they would lighten up on the demands so that I could support Peter. 

My dad went to the memory care center today, so that was one parent accounted for. I encouraged my mom to stay home while I took Peter for his procedure, but she refused. She has this fear of missing out syndrome, which is actually very annoying. So she insisted on coming today. Like always, I got up early, got showered and dressed and made breakfast. Then I went back upstairs to shower and dress my dad. When we finally sat down for breakfast, my mom pulled out her phone and made a call to one of her health insurers. I get it, she had questions for them! But did she have to call today? I was already stressed out with today's juggling act, and wanted to be able to get out the door and not have Peter feel any stress or pressure before his test. JUST NOT POSSIBLE IN THIS HOUSE.

The insurance call commandeered my breakfast. I literally had to stop eating to join her call because she wasn't processing what was being said to her. This is the part of dealing with my mom that stresses me out. She has no insight into her cognitive state and can quickly migrate from calm to nasty/hysterical within minutes. 

In the midst of all of this, my dad dropped his glass of juice all over himself, the table, and the floor. I had to pull off his clothes and put them in the dryer, as well as clean up around us. Don't forget I was still on a phone call!

When it was finally time to take Peter, we got in the car and to the outpatient center. We had to get there an hour before the procedure. I was going to sit and wait with Peter, but I knew my mom wanted to go to the bank and post office. I had to assess what to do! Do I wait and then force Peter post-colonoscopy to go to the bank and post office, or do I leave Peter on his own, while I take my mom to do these chores and get back in time while he is in recovery from the anesthesia? It seemed like a difficult decision, but I opted to do chores while Peter was at the outpatient center because I did not want to inconvenience him after his procedure. 

I felt very conflicted and honestly if I were Peter, I would have felt that I did not make him a priority. Fortunately, Peter sees the bigger picture here. But I wasn't happy. In the midst of taking my mom to do chores, she gave me a lot of attitude. After we went to the bank, I drove my mom home to put her money away. While waiting for her to come back downstairs, I folded laundry and put it away. Then herded her back to the car to wait for Peter at the outpatient clinic. When we arrived at the clinic, my mom refused my help in the parking lot as she went up and down stairs. By that point I had it. I literally walked away from her and checked back in at the medical office and asked for an update on Peter. 

Of course my mom did not remember her way from the parking lot to the doctor's office (despite navigating this area 90mins prior), so I had to leave the outpatient center and find her. My mom is truly unaware of her memory problems. Case in point, we were at the foot doctor a week ago. My mom went to the bathroom in the office and couldn't find her way back to the waiting area where I was with my dad. It took me and the office staff to track her down within the office complex. 

I am happy to report that Peter got a good report from his colonoscopy and doesn't have to go back for five years. I am a big proponent of being proactive with one's health and though we are juggling a lot, I am glad that we make these medical tests a priority.