Tonight's picture was taken in January of 2004. Mattie was a year and a half old and as you can see was in the kitchen with me. Mattie was always intrigued by what I was doing and if I was in a different room from him, he'd come and find me. Mattie also got a kick out of our garbage can. Peter and I painted it be cow themed. A theme I happened to love at one time. Naturally if I loved something, Mattie also took a fondness to it! We were two peas in a pod.
Quote of the day: I'm craving intellectual stimulation. First mind, body, and then soul. ~ SB Lavender
It was a very full day today. I did my usual morning routine and then after Peter dropped my dad off at the memory care center, my 5 hour deposition with the licensure board began. Fortunately it was conducted virtually, which gave me great flexibility. However, to prep for this wasn't easy. Not because I do not know the content, I do, but because my world is a complete nightmare.
In order to take this call with some privacy, I vacated my office which is on the first floor by our family room, and moved to Peter's office which is on the second floor near our bedroom. I really did not want to move spaces, as I am used to working in my own office, and given the stress of testifying, anything new, sometimes can throw me for a loop. But I knew with my mom walking around, her playing the TV and the radio, there would be NO WAY I could take a call from the first floor and appear professional.
So I migrated my things and computer upstairs to Peter's office and I got myself set up with hot tea, lozenges and so forth. What I found out about today is that I still LOVE my licensure work. Prior to moving to Northern Virginia, I served on the DC board for 18 years. That is right, 18!!!! I devoted a good chunk of my professional free time to crafting laws, regulations, and adjudicating ethical violations. Frankly I found my years on the Board stimulating, it kept me connected to my profession, and it also gave me an outlet outside of childhood cancer. In fact, after Mattie died, I gave up practically every other aspect of my life, except for my role on the Board. I wanted to quit soon after Mattie died, but the Board staff wouldn't hear of it! I am glad I listened to them! It has been the one positive consistent professional thing in my life.
Today I was balancing both a Zoom call and a Teams meeting on the computer. The testimony was happening through Zoom and the side bar conversation (private discussion) with the Board attorneys happened on Team meetings. Typically I am not good at balancing all this virtual stuff, but it worked out today. In fact, I would say for five hours, I saw the true Vicki shine through. A part of myself I haven't seen for over a year! You should have seen me answering questions, defending my own professional field and identity, and representing the former work I did on the Board. Needless to say, I felt proud, I felt a part of something bigger than daily chores, and I felt mentally stimulated. It showed me that I am MUCH more than just a house cleaner, the changer of depends undergarments, the cook, chauffeur, bill payer, and appointment keeper.
Throughout the call, Peter check in on me during breaks. I really appreciated his support emotionally and his help with the technology. He understood that today meant something to me, without me having to say it! Isn't that absolutely lovely!?
Of course once the call was over and my dad came back into the house from the memory care center, he urinated all over the floor. Which meant, YES back to house cleaner status and managing tasks. I of course blew up, because what my testimony reminded me today is that at one time, I was a part of society, I had an impact in some way on the community, and I did have enough brain power to hold my own with six attorneys today!
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