Monday, December 25, 2023

Monday, December 25, 2023

Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2008. A colleague of mine designed this quilt by hand and sent it to Mattie for Christmas. He indeed was and will always be SUPER MATTIE. He was an extraordinary boy, who remains forever in my heart and guides how I live my life. Christmas 2008 was not the best of times, as it was during that time at home that I figured out that Mattie had a form of PTSD. I later learned after he died that he had medical traumatic stress. What you may not see was behind Mattie we had a hospital bed and IVs in our living room. It was a time in our lives that I do not know how we survived. What I do know is I forget nothing because being Mattie's mom was a privilege and an honor. 

Quote of the day: Grief is like living two lives. One, you pretend that everything is all right, and the other is where your heart silently screams in pain. ~ Unknown

I literally could have curled up in a corner today and not acknowledge Christmas. But with my parents here, there was no way I was going to make the day pass without it being somewhat special for them. I invited two good friends over and we got to chat, reconnect, and they provided me with an outlet and support. I am quite aware that I am not picnic to be around right now, as I am not in a good emotional place. 

Despite how I feel internally and the fact that I have lost 20 pounds, I was compelled to cook. Tonight's menu was

1) turkey (with an orange marmalade glaze) with gravy

2) fresh cranberry sauce

3) sweet potato souffle

4) stuffing with dried cherries and apples

5) ginger carrots

6) string bean with mint and lemon

There were five of us at dinner and then after dinner two of my neighbors, who have adopted me, joined us for dessert. 

My dinner plate. I have bought so many different turkeys over the years! But this year's gets an A+. It was an Empire Kosher turkey. I read about this company, as the turkeys eat a veggie diet, get no hormones or antibiotics. Given that it is kosher, the birds are cleaned in a special way. All I can say is after buying an Empire bird, I will never buy another variety. It was so tender, tasty, and easy to cook!

My coconut layer cake!

Friends gave me all sorts of cookies this week and I put together this cute tray! The one thing I forgot to do was take a photo of all of us together. It completely slipped my mind given my emotional state. But what I do know, is regardless of how I am feeling, I am blessed with amazing friends.