Monday, October 4, 2010
Tonight's picture was taken in March of 2009. It was a nice spring day, and we wanted Mattie to get outside and have some fresh air. Peter and I strolled with Mattie to the Washington Mall, where the reflecting pools are located. The birds were in their glory that day, and unlike my usual trips to the Mall when I would bring bread or crackers, that day I forgot. However, there was a man and his son feeding the birds. The man could see that Mattie also wanted to participate, so he was nice enough to hand Mattie several slices of bread. As you can see Mattie had quite a flock around him including seagulls and mallard ducks! You can see the smile on his face with this special bird turn out. The funny part about Mattie and feeding the ducks was Mattie always loved eating the bread himself. He would usually eat a piece, and throw a piece to the birds. He was very entertaining to be around and I miss his energy and his infectious smile. In fact, if I think about it enough, I can easily recall Mattie putting his forehead against my forehead, and he would smile and stare into my eyes. He would do this often with me, and I miss those tender moments.
Tonight's quote makes me stop and wonder. When I read it, my first reaction was..... well then, GOD MUST BE VERY CLOSE TO ME! But then I thought about the quote some more and two things seem evident. Perhaps God is close to those with broken hearts, like myself, because his help is truly needed. Almost a level of divine intervention is needed when you have experienced and survived such a traumatic event. The other way I look at this quote is that through one's own individual suffering, it brings you closer to God. Not that I recommend this at all, but having a broken heart, forces you to re-evaluate your life, your priorities, and how you live your life. It has caused me to stop and spend more time listening to friends and it has caused me to want to connect more deeply with those around me. In a way these are qualities I attribute to a higher power. I am in no way equating myself to God, but what I am saying is that through the actions and behaviors of connecting with others, it enables me to become closer to God.
I had the opportunity to meet with Christine today for lunch. Many of my blog readers know that Christine is Campbell's mom, and Campbell was a very close kindergarten pal of Mattie's. While Mattie developed a friendship after school with Campbell, I developed one with Christine. Christine and I always related to each other because we both worked and also were full time moms. It was a balancing act that on the best of days seemed challenging. There were a couple of afternoons, I recall, when I was lost in paperwork, and knew I would never make it to the school pick up line in time. On those days, I called Christine, and she would pick both boys up and then meet me on the school playground. I will never forget those days, or knowing that I had someone reliable and trustworthy to call on for help.
However, the point to my story is that I know the stresses that Christine must feel now as she balances work and her family, and in a way, I am happy that I could give her an excuse to take an hour or so off, to just meet, have lunch, and chat. Without these moments in life that get us to stop, we would just continue working, and in the end life wouldn't be as meaningful. We had a delightful and tasty lunch, as Christine introduced me to a Lebanese restaurant I had never been to before. We caught up with each other from where we left off about two weeks ago, and we even chatted about the Matisse and Picasso project that I would like to do for Donna's (one of the kindergarten teachers at Mattie's school) classroom.
When I got home this afternoon, I found that I was falling back into my weekend slump. I can always tell when this is happening, because I can devour chocolate in a matter of minutes. So instead of eating half of a chocolate factory, I decided to walk. Mind you it was cold and rainy today, so I decided to use our complex's treadmill. When I walk, I disengage from the cell phone and the computer. In a way, I view walking as my time. I walked 2.7 miles today, and during that 40 minute time period, I even began to jog on the treadmill. I only did that for four minutes, because I am still trying to build up some sort of stamina from years of living a sedentary lifestyle. Nonetheless, after walking, I felt a bit better, and was able to continue to prepare for tomorrow's meeting at the Hospital in which I will be introducing the psychological instrument I wrote about previously on the blog. However, as I write tonight's posting, I have begun to feel as if I am coming down with one of my many long standing medical issues. This of course is concerning since I have one meeting after the other this week, and then I am scheduled to travel on Saturday. So think good thoughts and please send them my way. I will give you the update tomorrow on the meeting and its outcome.
No comments:
Post a Comment