Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2007, at John's house, a preschool friend of Mattie's. John had a wonderful Halloween party, and as you can see Mattie was dressed up as an air force pilot. Pay close attention to what Mattie was doing here! You will see that he was holding a roll of toilet paper, and transforming someone into a mummy! Take one guess who he was wrapping up? If you guessed me, you would be correct. In fact, myself and Julia (a friend and preschool mom), were the focus of attention at the party, and before we knew it, we had children surrounding us and covering us from head to toe. Mattie was on a mission that day, and as always, I was his side kick!
Quote of the day: I'm loving you, I know you're there yet I'm not sure where you are, are you sitting here beside me, or were you the bird that flew? I feel the wind blow in my ears, and I'm wondering if it's you. Are you reading over my shoulder? Are you holding my hand right now? I want to tell you I love you, I'm not sure if I know just how. I can feel you wiping my teardrops, and asking me, please, not to cry. But I'm missing you, loving you so much. And I'm wondering why you had to die. ~ Brandy Sively
Today was a busy day from start to finish! As I was getting ready for my counselor licensure meeting this morning, I received a call from my doctor's office. They wanted me back in for more testing and antibiotics. I hadn't factored that visit into my day, but clearly because we are going away tomorrow, there is no way, I was going to take any chances. After a four hour licensure meeting, one of my board members asked if I wanted to go out to lunch with her. In the days before I experienced cancer, I most likely would have said no. No, because I would have been focused on heading to complete my next task for the day, rather than stopping to further connect with someone. However, despite a full day, I did stop and I did go out to lunch. We had a lovely lunch together and we got to know each other better. We both are cancer survivors, and have an understanding and appreciation for one another. My colleague also makes her own jewelry, and I have always admired her work throughout the years. In fact, I bought one of her pieces years ago, pink pearls with sterling silver, and it is one of my more unique and special necklaces that I wear on occasion. Talking about her jewelry today inspired me to learn how to do this. I think it would be very therapeutic and would be a wonderful way to create pieces for the Foundation.
After lunch, the chores began. I had to come home and capture Patches, our cat, and take her to the vet for boarding. Nothing was simple about that process, as she was playing hide and go seek with me, and refused to get into her cat carrier. I finally retrieved her and we were on our way. The vet simply LOVES Patches and as soon as she enters the building, she becomes calm and relaxed. Not surprisingly, since this was her second home while Mattie was undergoing cancer treatment. From there I ran to the doctor, the pharmacy, and then back home to contend with laundry, dinner, and packing.
This is the first big trip that Peter and I have taken since Mattie died. It is a very challenging feeling to know we are going on a family vacation, and our most energetic and important member is no longer with us. There is definitely guilt associated with leaving and I continue to try to put this into context. Peter is coming with me for a week, and during that time we will be driving to see the Grand Canyon and Sedona, Arizona. He then will return home and I will remain in Los Angeles for the second week with my parents. We appreciate your good wishes on our trip and the next time you hear from me it will be from Los Angeles.
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