Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2007. Mattie was about five and a half years old and was in kindergarten. Our October tradition was venturing to Butler's Orchard in Maryland to pick a pumpkin literally off the vine in a pumpkin patch. A wagon full of hay, pulled by a tractor, would take us to the patch. I am not sure which part of this adventure Mattie enjoyed more, the wagon ride or the picking part. Mattie and I were always in search of the perfect pumpkin, and we would drive Peter crazy as we could spend thirty minutes or more searching through a small patch! In fact, it is hard for me to look at pumpkins now without thinking of our time together.
Quote of the day: Love like ours can never die! ~ Rudyard Kipling
Rudyard Kipling said it best! The love Mattie and I shared with one another was very special, very close, very unique, and will never die. I have the memory of this love forever in my mind, however, on some days the memory of this love just doesn't seem like enough. Or perhaps it is having experienced this love and then having it taken away from me in such a painful way that makes living without this bond seem almost impossible. I know just what I am missing, and all the future opportunities I will be missing as well.
I had the opportunity to spend some time with my friend, Junko today. Many of my faithful blog readers will recall that Junko visited me on a regular basis at the Hospital. When she came she always brought me something wonderful to eat. I always looked forward to her lunches and I can recall amazing lobster and other fresh seafood salads and sinful chocolate treats. But her generosity did not stop there. She would bring all sorts of gifts for Mattie and never left without giving me a back and neck massage. I have to admit that during my days in the hospital I was so stressed out that touching me the wrong way, could produce intense pain. Afterall, I slept at night (if you call three hours sleeping) in a chair for weeks on end. However, by the time Junko finished with me, I felt almost like a whole person again, ready to take on another round of intense stress from Mattie's treatment. As I told Junko today, I have the best sock collection now thanks to her. Over the course of Mattie's illness, she would bring me incredibly cozy and warm socks. In addition, she would bring me thermacare heatwraps, that I would stick in my jacket pockets because I was always freezing in the hospital. These are acts of kindness, love, and compassion that I will never forget.
Junko and I walked together for about an hour and we covered 2.8 miles. The irony is the time went quickly and I wasn't even focused on walking because we talked the whole way through. It was a fabulous way to exercise and catch up and reconnect. When I told my lifetime friend, Karen, that I was walking with Junko today, Karen wrote me back a very funny e-mail. She basically wanted to know if I have been actively recruiting friends to join my walking club, and whether I was giving out t-shirts for participating. It was the way she said it that had me cracking up!
After our walk, we went out for tea and scones and continued talking. In August, Junko and her family went to England, and along her journey she brought me back a gift from Buckingham Palace. I was very honored and touched, and it is a travel size jewelry case, which Junko felt would be a great way to transport some of Mattie's beautiful jewelry on my upcoming trip. The case has a beautiful rose fabric on the outside, and seems to capture my love for flowers. However, upon further examination of the fabric, it incorporates hidden profiles of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert within the rose pattern. Very clever! So it was a morning of walking, talking, and sharing.
Later this afternoon, I went to the hospital to visit Mary, Ann's mom. By the time I got there, she had completed physical therapy and was back in bed, looking exhausted, and yet unable to shut off. We spent a good part of the afternoon chatting. However as the day was wearing on, I could see that Mary was growing more and more uncomfortable. I deduced that she was feeling very dry and wanted some sort of moisture on her face and hands. If you have spent any significant amount of time in a hospital, then you can relate to how Mary was feeling. The air in a hospital is not only cold, but it is very drying. It literally sucks all the moisture out of your body. So I looked around Mary's room for lotion, and I highly disliked the smell of the hospital lotion. So instead I went rummaging through my purse and pulled out a rose fragrant lotion. Mary appreciated the attention and my goal was to make her relaxed and comfortable. It never happened. As the evening set in, I noticed she was laboring to breathe, and it looked like she was gasping for air. In all reality seeing this reminded me of Mattie instantly. I called in Mary's nurse, and Mary was given some oxygen, but in the mean time, Mary's nurse paged the respiratory care department for a consult. Minutes later, just as Mary was beginning to settle down (naturally this is always the way in a hospital!), in pops a respiratory therapist. Now I admit I am biased because I couldn't take ANY of the respiratory therapists assigned to Mattie at the hospital. However, Bernadette was quite different. She was knowledgeable, concerned about Mary, and more importantly had vast experience and compassion for helping others. In fact, she told me she worked in the ER and trauma units for many years dealing with respiratory care issues, and now would like to focus solely on working with older adults in a hospice setting. She began to tell me about the respiratory care issues of those who are dying, figuring I wouldn't know. Inside I was screaming, because I wanted to say, "believe me, I know!" But here is the interesting thing about Bernadette. When she entered the room, she and I looked at each other, and for some reason, we both seemed to recognize each other. In fact, Bernadette greeted me by saying, I KNOW YOU! After Bernadette gave Mary a breathing treatment, she came up to me, shook my hand, and said that she and I are kindred spirits and that is why we connected tonight. It was a chance encounter, but in a way a very uplifting and meaningful one.
As I head into Friday, I have my third meeting for the week, a counselor licensure board meeting. After that I have to bring Patches, our cat, to the vet to be boarded while we are away, and then begin packing. It seems like a non-stop week of sorts, but as always I appreciate you all sharing it with us.
No comments:
Post a Comment