Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2003. Mattie was a year and a half old and was sitting in my parents backyard. We had just finished picking their orange and grapefruit trees, and Mattie was having a great time with sorting, counting, and examining the fruit. The idea of picking fruit right off of a tree was intriguing to Mattie and it was at that point I began to refer to him as my "farmer Brown!"
Quote of the day: Absent in body, but present in spirit. ~ Corinthians 1:3
I began the day in a bad mood and unfortunately it did not improve as the day went on. I do think lack of sleep isn't helping my state of affairs either. Peter is a wise man, and during these moods, he knows that staying home and being couped up isn't going to improve my situation. So out we went today. Along the way, we went shoe shopping, which typically can perk me up. But despite doing that, I was still in a terrible funk. As I sat quietly in the car, suggesting that we go home, Peter decided that most likely wouldn't be a good idea. So instead he took me out to lunch. At lunch, Peter looked at me and told me just how exhausted I looked and that he was worried about me. I think I handle grief in waves. With the holidays fast approaching, I am being hit by a full blown grief tidal wave. When you are trying to stay afloat it is sometimes difficult to talk and reach out to others, which is where I am currently at.
Peter and I chatted about a lot of things over lunch and we are getting ready to leave for our trip to Los Angeles on Tuesday. We decided to spend the holidays with my parents. It makes no sense for us to spend it apart, especially since we are all feeling the same way about Christmas and New Year's. Peter will be in California for a week, and I will stay there two weeks. In order to get ready for this trip, there are many things we have to do, such as assuring that Patches is going to be well taken care of and in good hands. In addition, over the past two days I have been working on uploading pictures to the blog as well as quotes, so that I do not have to worry about doing this component of my blogging while away. So on Tuesday, you will be hearing from me in California. It is my hope that being away helps my sleeping and my intense migraines.
I realize tonight is not a typical blog posting. But based on how I am feeling with utter exhaustion, it is my hope that my readers understand.
1 comment:
I understand, Vickie...the grief tidal wave,the difficulty to interact with others, and yes, the utter exhaustion. You just described me perfectly, without us even ever being in the same room. Unfortunately, we are living in the same world...the world of grief and loss...the world of the left behind..the world of missing our sons.
Hope that the California sun, and having your parents, to help hold each other up, will help. I miss my mom, also this Christmas.Just seems unreal that she has been gone almost 4 months now. This whole year..this life..seems unreal.
Full of Christmas cheer I am...not!
Karen, Mother of Keaton for Always
www.caringbridge.org/visit/keatonlee
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