Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2004. Mattie and I were sitting on the couch together, most likely watching a movie. But it must have been a Disney movie, or something sentimental that caused me to be teary or upset. Peter somehow captured that moment in time, a moment which now seems to foreshadow the sadness that entered our lives in 2008.
Quote of the day: JOY is a deceptive trap; grief is the real preceptor, teaching caution, circumspection, discrimination, detachment, awareness and vigilance. ~ Atharva Veda
Tonight's quote truly resonates with me. Grief has and continues to be quite a teacher. In a way, experiencing the loss of Mattie enables me to see, hear, and feel on a higher plane. If that is possible, or even makes any sense. I have seen the absolute worst life has to offer, and I also realize that bad things can and do happen on any given day. They can happen to any of us. I do not corner the market on hurt, pain, and loss. Innocent people and children are affected each day with all sorts of tragedies and traumas. Many of us do not like to reflect on this, unless you happen to be on the unfortunate ones directly affected.
When I woke up this morning, I assumed Peter was out doing his usual walk around Roosevelt Island. However, to my dismay, I found him on the couch and he was very sick. Peter has been vomiting for a good portion of the night and into the morning and was extremely dizzy. So dizzy that I could see his eyes involuntarily moving and darting back and forth. It was a very frightening sight. So I immediately called the doctor and she prescribed him Zofran. She wanted to know if we were familiar with this drug. Peter and I could give a course on anti-emetics, after Mattie's battle with cancer. Zofran was one of the initial drugs given to Mattie to help with nausea. So I ran to the pharmacy to pick up this medication for Peter. However, from my perspective I felt Peter was having a bout of Vertigo. He had an episode like this years ago, which is why I remember it so vividly. When someone you love is SO sick, it isn't something you quickly forget.
I monitored Peter most of the day, and Zofran helped his nausea, but did nothing for his head which felt like it was spinning. Vertigo in a way, I imagine, feels a lot like motion sickness. Something I know quite well, however, with motion sickness I know what causes my symptoms. With Peter, we have no idea what triggers his Vertigo. I don't do well with NOT knowing.
This afternoon, I gave Peter Tylenol PM, because without it, there was NO way he was going to shut down and rest. While he was sleeping, I went to visit Mary, Ann's mom. I helped Mary with dinner and kept her company for a couple of hours. While at the assisted living facility Peter text messaged me to let me know he wasn't feeling better. So I sat on Mary's bed and together we made a phone call back to our family doctor. I happen to like our doctor very much and I was lucky she was the one in the practice on call this weekend. This time, she prescribed Antivert for Peter. This is a drug specifically for Vertigo. It is my greatest hope that somehow Peter wakes up feeling better tomorrow. It has been a very debilitating day for him, and though I have been keeping it together, I am worried about him. We rely on each other a lot, and when one of us is down, the whole team is DOWN.
I received a news blurb from my friend Charlie this week. She wanted me to know about the Super Moon that is out tonight. I of course have renamed it the Super Mattie Moon. As many of my readers know, Mattie's nickname in preschool was Mattie Moon. So the moon, to us, is our earthly connection to Mattie. I copied the information below about tonight's Super Moon.
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THE SUPER MOON
Got plans for this weekend? If you find yourself anywhere with a clear sky, make sure you have a look up at some point to witness the largest moon in almost two decades starring back at you.
On Saturday, March 19, the moon will will be just 356,577 kilometers from the Earth, its closest in 18 years. Astronomers say an event like this has happened 15 times in the last 400 years. From Yahoo! Canada:
Supermoon’ happens when the moon is marginally nearer to Earth in its orbit than normally, and this effect is most remarkable when it happens simultaneously with the full moon. It is given the name Supermoon since the actual alignment is very distinct and as a result, one might think it would have some effect. The “super” in the expression supermoon, is actually just reference to the fact that it only gives the impression of it being nearer, but in reality there is no difference.
Scientists dismiss that a moon of this nature is linked to anything with the disaster in Japan. “Even though the moon affects the Earth’s tides, it cannot spark great earthquakes,” said NASA scientist Jim Garvin.
Speaking of tides, the Irish Water Safety organization issued a warning to the public today saying that “Supermoon” tides might increase the risk of people becoming stranded.
“This has the effect of causing very high and low tides, or increasing the range of the tide,” the news release says. “This will expose large areas of beach and rocks which we normally don’t see. Many people enjoy walking on our beaches and exploring these new areas of beach and in particular people enjoy picking shellfish to eat which become exposed during these very low tides.”
Officials recommend carrying a cell phone just in case you run into any problems. The next supermoon is scheduled for November 14, 2016.
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