Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2006, around Mother's Day. Mattie was in preschool and one of the mother's day gifts he made for me in Margaret's class was a popsicle stick picture frame. This frame and gift remains on my refrigerator from 2006. Five years later.... the frame remains, but the child does not. As you can see by this frame, Mattie always liked bold and happy colors.

Quote of the day: Life is eternal, and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight. ~ Rossiter Worthington Raymond


For those of you registering for the Walk and giving us positive feedback about the Walk logo, I THANK YOU! As I mentioned in my emails today to our supporters living afar, we value your participation in our Walk and we designed a pledge form this year so our extended community could virtually participate. The pledge form gives you the opportunity to talk with your friends and family members about pediatric cancer, the Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation, and our goal to raise funds for the Childlife department at Georgetown University Hospital. If you want more information about pledging, I attached a helpful link: https://www.mattiemiracle.com/Pledge_to_Walk.html

I had the opportunity to have lunch today with a former student and now my friend, Susan. Susan is a high school counselor, and we had the opportunity to talk about her school, children and our society, the complexities of counseling today's youth, and naturally living life after losing a child. Many of my students ask me if I miss teaching or when I plan to return to the University. For me the answer is, I DON'T KNOW! There is a great deal about academia I do not miss! However, the number one aspect of teaching I miss is my students. I learned a great deal from them over the years, they made me a better educator, and they stimulated me to want to learn more and stay current. However, after experiencing cancer your life, world view, and interests change. So though I may look the same from the exterior, on the interior I am very different. My tolerance for certain aspects about life now are MUCH lower.

During the day, I received some wonderful pictures from my friend, Colleen, in Boston. Colleen and I met each other in our Master's in biology program at Boston College. Colleen's daughter, Ashley, grew her hair out and got it cut yesterday for Locks of Love. I find it fascinating how children observe their parents reading the blog, and in a way kids are intrigued by the blog, its pictures, and Mattie. Though Ashley never met Mattie, in a way his life has impacted her decisions.

Colleen wrote, "Just wanted to share a few pictures with you of Ashley. She decided, with some encouragement from me, to grow out her hair and donate it to Locks of Love. It all started with a friend who was doing the same and she asked me why someone would need someone else's hair. She would always see me reading your blog in the mornings and I reminded her how there are children like Mattie who get cancer and lose their hair due to the treatment that they have to undergo to try and get rid of the cancer. She took that all in for a bit and brought it up again a bit later. Mattie had passed away by this time, but it also coincided with a little girl in Jack's class who was diagnosed with Burkitt's Lymphoma. So, I asked her if she would like to grow out her hair and donate it (she had a good 4 or 5 inches about that time) and she said yes. While she was growing out her hair and getting very close we would mention Mattie and this little girl and how someone like them would be thrilled to receive Ashley's hair. When people remarked how long and pretty her hair was, she would always say "I am donating it for Locks of Love." So, yesterday was the big day of getting her hair cut and I wanted to share the pictures with you. Even though Ashley never met Mattie, here is another instance of Mattie touching the lives of others!"

Later this afternoon, I visited Mary, Ann's mom. As I tried to open Mary's door into her assisted living room, I was met with resistance. There was something behind the door. So instead of forcing it open, I tried to squeeze my head in to see what was blocking the door. To my dismay, it was Mary's roommate sprawled out on the floor. She had fallen and was lying behind the door. Mary heard the fall, but due to her own condition was unable to do anything about it. So I wasn't sure who to address first upon entering the room, the lady on the floor or Mary who seemed to want to know what was going on. Either case, I went out into the hallway and found a nurse and together we assessed Mary's roommate and then we each grabbed an arm, and slowly lifted her back into her wheelchair. The roommate is a feisty and obviously strong individual, because she was physically fine. But the whole situation was unsettling and the staff were just as concerned and perplexed by what I saw. There are people in an out of Mary's room all day long, so I know her roommate wasn't on the floor for long. Though I visit Mary often, her roommate has dementia and each time she meets me it is like meeting me for the first time. Which is fine and I always tell her who I am and why I am there. Mary's roommate for the most part doesn't like to be touched, and most definitely can give her caregivers a hard time. She will yell at them and talk down to them, which of course doesn't inspire others to care for her. Any case, I have found that when I interact with Mary's roommate, I always ask for permission to help her, and when I lifted her off the floor, she did yell at us that she did not want to be touched. But I reasoned with her that it wasn't good or safe for her to be on the floor, and therefore that is why we were assisting her. That explanation made sense to her, and she complied. I think Mary's roommate is the perfect illustration of what we all want in life. The chance to be in control of our own lives and to be able to make certain choices for ourselves. All I can say, is there are great life lessons to be learned by visiting Mary and her roommates.

I would like to end tonight's posting with a message from my friend and colleague, Nancy. As I told Nancy today, I really needed her message. It helped to perk me up! Nancy wrote, "Peter and you brought Spring into my life this morning. It is cloudy with a prediction of thunder storm and overall non sun day and then I clicked on the blog. The first vision to brighten my day was Kristen's 'Faces of Hope' logo. It is spectacular!!!!!!!!!!!!! It definitely captures your message and love for Mattie, first, and children and families afflicted by this disease, next. We all need a little hope to keep going. Then I read about the thank you note that Donna and you received from her student's Mom. To me , as a former teacher, these are the precious memories that are saved. Notes from the children I've taught and their parents acknowledgment kept me going on the day's when I felt that I was just another face. I think my greatest thank you has been from a former student, now a mother of three + her teenage stepson, who has included me in her life till this day. Mom's essay said so much about you and what you did in this kindergarten class. I loved it when she said that you should be cloned because in some ways you already have been. The first piece of you was transformed in Mattie. You gave him roots to grow, a body that withstood many assaults, too many for such a small body, and a head which housed his storehouse of ideas, creations, desires, and many feelings. Next you have inspired many a student wanting to facilitate and support people on their life's journey. With your deep loss, you have found another way to be cloned in writing your blog which allows you to see just how far reaching your words and experiences have traveled. Finally, for now, a piece of you has been transformed in a little kindergarten boy who understood, appreciated, and shared the knowledge and joy of art from your sessions on Matisse and Picasso. ( In fact, this weekend, my daughter, Cindy, was showing me some of the artwork that Jordana (our little artist) has been doing in her pre- school. One of her pieces was inspired by Matisse too and I told her of your beautiful lessons). I love how you have turned your city deck into a collage of color. I await seeing a picture of the fountain once Peter has fixed it. The Gerber daisies are a beauty and what a view from your kitchen window. You have sight, sound, color all at your beck and call. That is inspiring too as we enter the birth season of Spring when the earth comes alive. In honor of Earth day, April 22nd, you gave signs of our magnificence! All this while Peter and you are handling the many challenges of this year's walk. Team Mattie is an ongoing process as well. You bring hope to families as they witness your drive, love, and determination to make Pediatric Cancer a memory."