A Remembrance Video of Mattie

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to me that you take the time to write and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful and help support me through very challenging times. I am forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically have stopped writing on September 9, 2010. However, like my journey with grief there is so much that still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with me, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki



August 31, 2025

Sunday, August 31, 2025

Sunday, August 31, 2025

Tonight's picture was taken in August  2004. Mattie was two years old. It was our annual adventure to Los Angeles to visit my parents. That day, we took Mattie to Griffith Park! Truly an amazing park! I never went there until Mattie came into my life. He truly brought a whole new world to mine! As you can see, Mattie experienced a pony ride. These ponies were attached to a carousel and clearly not running away, nonetheless, I was still worried Mattie would get injured. I tried to be proactive and think about all possible dangers. Never thinking of course of childhood cancer. 



Quote of the day: It isn't what we say or think that defines us, but what we do. ~ Jane Austen


I am on a mission! I now go out daily and assess the water level in the pool. You can see the tape on the left was yesterday's mark and the one on the right is today's. If you measure the difference it is close to an inch apart. Which confirms to me I have a leak. I am not sure why I did not do this weeks ago. It truly never dawned on me that it was a leak. I assumed it was evaporation due to heat and no rain. But recently my pool company has emailed me weekly telling me I needed to add more water to the pool. I was perplexed. Especially since on Thursday, I ran the hose into the pool for THREE HOURS. 

I chalk it up to juggling so much in and out of the house, that I can't be on top of everything. But when I connect the data points on anything, I can usually see a trend. I remember when I was in graduate school, studying mental health counseling, my advisor would always tell me that one of the things she loved about me was my scientific mind. Remember my first love was biology. I love thinking through a problem, and studying issues. These are good skills to have in whatever I am facing. Being a holiday weekend, I can't do anything about this leak, but I am eager for Tuesday to come so I can make an appointment to have this evaluated. 

I have had a long weekend of chores and issues, so I am signing off for tonight, but as the calendar turns over to September tomorrow, I naturally start reflecting on September 8, the day Mattie died. I don't think September will ever be a good month for me. 
Posted by Victoria Sardi-Brown at 7:52 PM 0 comments
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