Friday, December 9, 2011Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2008. Mattie is pictured with Abbie, Ann's youngest child. Mattie and Abbie attended the same preschool and also were in the same kindergarten class together. Certainly these children knew each other and may have actually interacted with one another on occasion in school, but it was when Mattie developed cancer that I actually had the opportunity to get to know Abbie. Ann took on the role of our Team Mattie coordinator and as an adult she made this decision consciously. However, since Abbie was only six at the time, I do not think she sat down and gave it much thought about the importance of being Mattie's friend. Instead, I think something within her just took over, and guided her interactions with Mattie. Abbie was a blend of humor, activity, loyalty, and a fierce advocate to Mattie. I can still remember Mattie attended a birthday party in December of 2008. He was bald and in a wheelchair. A few children, who did not attend Mattie's school or were familiar with his situation started to tease Mattie and make fun of how he had to move around on the floor. Abbie, like myself, heard this, and before I could step in and say something. Abbie put this other child in his place. Needless to say, there was no more teasing that day. Abbie stayed close to Mattie throughout the entire party and made sure he felt included. But most importantly what this showed me was this was the making of a true friend. A friendship that was cut short too early. When these two were together, they were zany, creative, and at times simply gross. They seemed to appreciate bugs and creating mushy and horrid looking substances that would freak the rest of us out. In Abbie's company, Mattie could be funny, lively, and simply six years old.
Quote of the day: In the final analysis, there is no other solution to a man's problems but the day's honest work, the day's honest decisions, the day's generous utterance, and the day's good deed. ~ Claire Booth Luce
I am beginning to feel better, but still have had moments today in which I needed my inhalers. It is amazing to me how such a mist can make me feel better immediately. My day started early with a board of professional counseling meeting. How I have been feeling the past two weeks affected me today. I was ticky or down right humorous in the meeting. I suppose providing comic relief is a good thing right before the holidays.
Later today I went to visit Ann's mom, Mary. While I was with Mary, a lady walked into Mary's room. I looked up and there was Edy! I LOVE Edy. Edy was one of Mary's nursing aides. However in July, Edy left the facility. Over time, I had gotten to know Edy and she knew about Mattie. Edy treated Mary with great respect and was simply a nurturing and caring soul. Edy is not replaceable, and her concern and loyalty to her patients are evident. After all, in her free time, she came back to her former place of employment to visit her patients. Mary gave Edy a huge smile when she entered the room. We were both thrilled to see her and I told Edy she made our Christmas. Because I have always wondered how Edy was doing and how her new job was going. When Edy left Mary's facility in July, I gave her a gift. I felt that close to her, and today, Edy reminded me of the gift and told me how much it meant to her and her husband. What I had forgotten, she remembered. Edy in a way lives out the Mattie Miracle mission. I did not really give that thought until I began chatting with my friend Tanja tonight. Edy makes you feel special. She relates to you as a human being and gets to know aspects of your life. It is through this personal connection, that you can't help but feel better in her company and presence. Which reminds me once again, addressing a patient's psychosocial needs is not only a nice thing to do, it is a vital thing to do to ensure one's physical health. Let's personalize this.... think about yourself when you feel sick. If someone is meeting your needs, understands your likes and dislikes, and truly takes an interest in you.... aren't you more likely to comply with their requests to take medicine, rest, and participate in therapy (physical, occupational, mental health)? Experiencing kindness or a good deed (as tonight's quote so implies) can go a long way for all of us.
After Edy left, I began reading one of my favorite short stories to Mary. The story is called The Christmas Box. It is appropriate for this time of year, but it is also meaningful to both of us, since the main character in the book loses a child. This loss has clouded the character's life and how she lives and interacts with people. It is a beautiful and touching story. I read Mary the first chapter tonight and it is my hope with each visit, I can read another chapter until we finish the story. I read this story for the first time before Mattie was even diagnosed with cancer. But as I was reading it today, I found that I once again got absorbed in the story and wanted to just keep reading. Though Mary wasn't able to verbalize her thoughts, I could tell she was listening, and was engaged. When I interact with Mary, I try to always think of what I would want someone to do for me if I were in her position. I don't always get it right but Mary is always gracious with whatever I try.
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