Mattie Miracle 9th Annual Walk & Family Festival -- Raised over $97,000

Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation Promotional Video

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to us that you take the time to write to us and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful to us and help support us through very challenging times. To you we are forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically stop writing on September 9, 2010. However, at the moment, I feel like our journey with grief still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with us, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.

As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki and Peter

The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation celebrates its 7th anniversary!

The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation was created in the honor of Mattie.

We are a 501(c)(3) Public Charity. We are dedicated to increasing childhood cancer awareness, education, advocacy, research and psychosocial support services to children, their families and medical personnel. Children and their families will be supported throughout the cancer treatment journey, to ensure access to quality psychosocial and mental health care, and to enable children to cope with cancer so they can lead happy and productive lives. Please visit the website at: and take some time to explore the site.

We have only gotten this far because of people like yourself, who have supported us through thick and thin. So thank you for your continued support and caring, and remember:

.... Let's Make the Miracle Happen and Stomp Out Childhood Cancer!

A Remembrance Video of Mattie

Random Shots of Mattie, Family and Friends

August 31, 2012

Friday, August 31, 2012

Friday, August 31, 2012

Tonight's picture was taken on April 4, 2002, the day Mattie was born. Mattie came into this world VERY alert and all his Apgar scores were high. All the indications that he was a healthy baby. Peter went with Mattie into the nursery to be cleaned up and weighed, while I remained in the operating room. In the process of giving birth to Mattie, his doctor found a tumor the size of a grapefruit on my bladder. So immediately after the c-section, I had bladder surgery. Though I had my own issues, I wanted Peter to be with Mattie. It was on that day, that I saw how vital a role an anesthesiologist plays within surgery. Dr. Mike will forever remain in my memory, because he did not only deal with my pain management, he was my surgery coach and talked me through everything that was happening to me, since I was conscious for the entire surgery.

Quote of the day: We must look for the opportunity in every difficulty, instead of being paralyzed at the thought of the difficulty in every opportunity. ~ Walter Cole

We began our day by walking with Peter's parents around their local pond, called Horn Pond. This pond is an mini oasis in the middle of the town, not unlike our Roosevelt Island. The pond attracts all sorts of wildlife and birds. We saw Great Blue Herons, geese, swans, ducks, and turtles. I just couldn't get over the aggressive nature of the swans, they had no problem taking on the geese or hissing at us if we got in their way.

We did various things today from shopping, seeing some sights around town, and then we met up with Peter's brother and his family for dinner. We got together as a family to celebrate Peter's parents anniversary. We ate at a restaurant in Newton, MA. Going to Newton always reminds me of my days attending Boston College, which isn't far from Newton's town center. In a way, it is like a walk back in time for me, or as I usually refer to it as.... easier times. We have two lives in a way, a precancer life and a postcancer life. When we sat down at dinner tonight, we had made a reservation for nine people, yet they sat us at a table for 10. It was glaringly obvious to me who should have been in this tenth seat! I am not sure if the restaurant just made a mistake by setting a table with one too many seats, or if this was a subtle message sent to us by Mattie. 

At dinner with us were our two nephews and our niece. We have watched them grow up over the years and yet when I am with them, I feel the absence of Mattie even more profoundly. It is also then in which I see just how different our lives are, and also how different our futures will be. Once I had Mattie, I assumed that our home would be bustling with family and friend activities as well as holiday gatherings. Not unlike how I grew up. I like to cook and I also like to host parties, but these two things seemed to have died right along with Mattie. Mattie's death is a grave loss, but the loss trickles down to every aspect of our lives. It is hard to accept this change, a change we never asked for, and at times it is hard to be able to put this into context and accept that others are happy, that their lives continue, and that they get to see their children happy, healthy, and evolving. A gift we were not given. If Mattie were only in that 10th chair tonight, our lives would be quite different today.   

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