Tuesday, January 22, 2013 -- Mattie died 176 weeks ago today.Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2004. That Fall, Mattie was enrolled in a preschool in Washington, DC. It was a short lived experience, less than one semester. After two months of preschool, Mattie was pulled out of the school and remained home with me for the rest of that year. In all reality, I should have exposed this school and its very dysfunctional director! However, on this particular occasion, the preschool went on a field trip to a farm in Maryland. Since I had hesitation and concern about the director's abilities, I found a way to go on the trip as a parent chaperon. Despite the school's poor leadership, Mattie had a lovely time picking a pumpkin, and I am happy I captured him in motion that day!
Quote of the day: One small cat changes coming home to an empty house to coming home. ~ Pam Brown
I started my day by going to my zumba class. I haven't been to class in WEEKS! It was a frigid 20 something degrees in Washington, DC, but I was motivated to get up and out. I am glad I did because moving around and hearing music always makes me feel better. I saw my friend Heidi in class today and she surprised me with a welcome home gift. She gave me a beautiful green butterfly ornament. When I got home today I clipped this cutie to my curtains. As Heidi knows butterflies are special to me and they symbolize my love and connection to Mattie. So this gift means a lot to me on many levels!After class, I went to visit my friend Mary who lives in an assisted living facility. Mary's caregiver was unable to spend the day with her, so I decided to help break up her day by sitting with her for a couple of hours. Mary was unable to say ONE word to me today. Yet I talked to her non-stop for about 90 minutes. I basically recounted her daughter's birthday parties to her, my reflections and observations from the parties, and I also shared with her from my memory the many wonderful notes I placed in her daughter's birthday memory book that were written by family members and friends. Mary was wide eyed and taking everything I was saying in. On occasion she nodded in response to my questions and after I spoke, she literally fell asleep. As if the stimulation for the recounting of so many wonderful tales wiped her out!
After I left Mary today, I reflected on the beauty of being able to sit with someone and to know her well enough to be able to direct a one way conversation for almost two hours straight. Mary and I are from two different generations, yet we came into each other's lives at a time that was vulnerable for both of us and yet similar. Somehow these similarities cut through the differences, even the differences that exist within us today with one of us being able to talk and the other being mute.
When I got home this afternoon, Patches was thrilled to see me. She greeted me and actually ate food. I can certainly see she is dwindling away, but not suffering. To me that is key. So far we are going into week three, after she was officially diagnosed with cancer. I am happy I did not put her to sleep three weeks ago. As long as there is life inside this girl, with an emphasis on her quality of life, she will remain with us.
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