Saturday, January 26, 2013

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Tonight's picture was taken in February of 2003. Mattie was 10 months old and one of the things he absolutely loved was nesting cups. Mattie loved to stack them or fill them with water, rice, beans, and sand. These cups got around (floor, tub, sandbox) and they went on many car trips with us.


Quote of the day: Find out where joy resides, and give it a voice far beyond singing. For to miss the joy is to miss all.  ~ Robert Louis Stevenson


I began my day with a text message from my friend Tina. Tina is a faithful blog reader and read a few days ago that I was having some set backs planning this year's Foundation Walk. When she read this she emailed me and wanted to know what I was contending with. So I told her. Her text message today was a follow up from our previous exchange. However, what I did not know was that Tina listened to my issue a few days ago and then took it upon herself to try to reach out to others to get me the help I needed for planning the Walk. What a gift! There are aspects of planning such a big event that are daunting and having someone try to help me without me directly asking is a huge gift! Tina wanted to update me on the feedback she received and asked whether we could talk live about it today. Like my faithful readers know, I strongly dislike talking on the phone. I am still unpacking what this is about, because prior to having Mattie, I could talk to people on the phone for hours. But after Mattie was born, he seemed to get more agitated with me on the phone and most definitely when he was battling cancer, phone conversations would make him very, very upset. Toward the end of Mattie's life, hearing any verbal communication was impossible for him. Which is why Peter and I learned to communicate to each other (even in the same room!) through text messages for the last several months of Mattie's life. I realize my lack of using the phone is a major issue for those in my life who want to talk with me, but I have been conditioned to have averse feelings to the phone.

Any case, when Tina asked to talk, I did pick up the phone. I appreciated her desire to help me. She had me laughing though because she acknowledged my discomfort with the phone and said that if I grew tired of being on the phone today, I should just hang up on her, or press a number and she will get the fact that she had to stop talking. A total riot!!! Naturally I did not hang up or press any buttons but instead I felt grateful that she wanted to help me and the Foundation. Helping the Foundation is equivalent to me helping someone else with a task for their child. The Foundation is my child and when I have a friend who reaches out to help, offers their time, and is committed to its success, it catches my attention, appreciation, and respect. The Foundation is not only my full time job, but it is personal. Everything about it is Mattie! When you help the Foundation, in my mind it is like you are nurturing Mattie.

Peter and I went out to lunch together today and we chatted about upcoming Foundation activities and plans. Our biggest push right now is the psychosocial think tank we are planning in Huntington Beach, CA in February. Taking this on and the Walk are huge endeavors individually, together, if not managed correctly they could be overwhelming. I am also lecturing at the George Washington University on Tuesday evening, so I am working on PowerPoint slides as we speak. I will be addressing counseling students and discussing the psychological impact of losing a child to cancer. So we are quite busy, and busy has its advantages for me!