Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2003. Peter snapped a photo of Mattie and me on a flight to Los Angeles. Mattie was a year and a half at that time and was a bundle of energy. I had a whole bag of tricks with me because Mattie was FULLY ON for a five hour flight. No napping! We did everything from Legos, puzzles, books, and hot wheel cars together! Unlike myself, Mattie loved to fly and found traveling a big adventure.
Quote of the day: Plan out your life on paper but live your life by your heart. ~ Warren Demike
Peter flew to Boston yesterday. His flight wasn't cancelled and thankfully made it there safely. Of course there is no telling whether he will get back tomorrow given the predicted snow up and down the Eastern seaboard. Certainly in Peter's career history he has had to do a lot of traveling. He went on trips before I had Mattie, in fact at one point in our marriage Peter worked Monday through Thursday in Tampa, FL. We only saw each other three days a week, and this went on for at least a year. When Mattie was born, Peter also traveled, and not to places around the corner. Try Africa and Bangladesh on for size. While Peter was working, I was pursuing various degrees, working, writing a dissertation, and then of course raising Mattie. We are used to being busy and we are also used to being apart at times. Typically this isn't a problem. However, with the death of Mattie, the separation from each other is quite a bit harder. Our home is quiet now without Mattie and Patches. But when only one of us is living in it, it takes on a whole different life of its own.
As a child, I can recall having a very busy home. With many family and friends always visiting. There just seemed to be a lot of gatherings. Peter's home in Boston was exactly the same. We grew up in homes that were hubs. I think it was my expectation as I grew up and became an adult that our home would be like what we experienced growing up. Unfortunately that isn't the case, and in fact it is the exact opposite. I think several things account for this. First and foremost, our society is SO BUSY! I think gathering at home are not as popular as it was years ago, but I also think that with Mattie's death, our ability to socialize has changed. It is a mutual discomfort in many ways. We do not always want to socialize and others do not necessarily want to socialize with us either. This is a hard reality to face and lately I have been looking within and coming to the conclusion that I need different social outlets.
As tonight's quote implies, I spent most of the day following my plan on paper. My plan was to work on Foundation items like our December newsletter. But by 2pm, I had it. I was getting stir crazy glued to my computer. So when the going gets tough, the tough go shopping. All kinds of shopping from groceries to crafts.
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