Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2008. That day Mattie was in the clinic and as you can see he wasn't feeling well. He was depleted of energy and running a high fever. There was a pillow on Mattie's lap because that was where he was laying his head. When Santa and Mrs. Claus came in to visit Mattie, he literally picked his head up from the pillow long enough to say hi, take a photo, and check out the toys he was given. With the help of Santa's elves (Linda - Mattie's Child Life Specialist and Jenny - Mattie's Art Therapist), Mattie received many of the toys he loved playing with. As soon as Santa left the room, Mattie's head collapsed right back onto the pillow.
Quote of the day: Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Today is the day after Christmas and I suppose because it is a weekday and a working day for most people, things seemed to return to business as usual. However, I am very aware of the fact that those who are grieving the day or days after Christmas are anything but usual. In fact these days are far more difficult than Christmas itself. I have a feeling the main reason for this has to do with the psychological preparation and bracing we go through in order to survive the holiday. However, once Christmas is over we lift up these barriers (because to sustain them long term is impossible) and our reality becomes even more unimaginable. I think most people who try to support a family member or friend in grief are unaware of the impact of post-holiday blues. We all can get post-holiday blues, but it seems far more extreme for those who lost a child, and I would go a step further, for those who lost an only child. I guess my one piece of advice which I feel I can share because I have learned it the hard way is the importance of continuing to reach out to those who are grieving a child. Because Christmas has come and gone, doesn't mean that things have returned to normal or have stabilized. In fact, the exact opposite may occur and therefore your presence in a friend or family member's life is actually quite crucial now.
My parents continue to feel under the weather, so therefore doing non-taxing things and staying close to home are important. We went out to lunch today and sat outside. It was a glorious weather day, it had to be in the 80's, and I truly believe that fresh air and sunshine can cure many ailments. As I look around me I am not sure others truly appreciate the weather they have in December. To me it felt like a spring day. By the time we got back home, it just seemed too lovely to be inside. So my mom and I went for a walk. While out walking we ran into a neighbor of hers, I got to meet his adorable dog, and we also got to see the sun setting. I have found through Mattie's battle and then death to appreciate the simple day to day things, because they are really quite special and memorable. In fact if you talk with anyone who has a grave and terminal illness, the one common thread no matter the illness is the loss of one's daily routine. The longing for the mundane and the ordinary. Things we find annoying or take for granted when healthy. Yet having the freedom to drive one's car, to have lunch out, to watch a sunset, and to take a walk all are things I very much wanted when Mattie was sick. As opposed to being trapped in a hospital for over a year and being unable to provide solutions to Mattie's disease. Therefore when I have these wonderful freedoms now, they do not go unrecognized by me.
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