Mattie Miracle 15th Anniversary Video

Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation Promotional Video

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to us that you take the time to write to us and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful to us and help support us through very challenging times. To you we are forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically stop writing on September 9, 2010. However, at the moment, I feel like our journey with grief still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with us, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki and Peter



The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation celebrates its 7th anniversary!

The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation was created in the honor of Mattie.

We are a 501(c)(3) Public Charity. We are dedicated to increasing childhood cancer awareness, education, advocacy, research and psychosocial support services to children, their families and medical personnel. Children and their families will be supported throughout the cancer treatment journey, to ensure access to quality psychosocial and mental health care, and to enable children to cope with cancer so they can lead happy and productive lives. Please visit the website at: www.mattiemiracle.com and take some time to explore the site.

We have only gotten this far because of people like yourself, who have supported us through thick and thin. So thank you for your continued support and caring, and remember:

.... Let's Make the Miracle Happen and Stomp Out Childhood Cancer!

A Remembrance Video of Mattie

August 29, 2014

Friday, August 29, 2014

Friday, August 29, 2014

Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2007. Behind Mattie and Peter is the famous bridge that takes cars from the main land of San Diego to the Island of Coronado. Coronado is a special place and that summer when we were not touring around, Peter would take Mattie out and about on the Island. They would walk and bicycle around together!

Quote of the day: Teach thy tongue to say, “I do not know,” and thou shalt progress. ~ Maimonides

It is ironic, I am in California and far away from those I know in Washington, DC and yet internally I know that school is about to start. It isn't like anyone is telling me this. Quite on the contrary no one talks to me about such matters any more. That is a whole other conversation! Another complexity of navigating the world of grief with my friends..... part of me wants to hear about their lives and another part of me doesn't! Likewise, they want to tell me about their lives and at the same time they are afraid that telling me about their children might hurt me. In a way it is a damned if you do and a damned if you don't!   

Mattie died on September 8th of 2009, which was the first day of school! For many of our close friends they associate the first day back at school with Mattie's death. I am sure for some of them the beginning of school, at least for the parents, is somewhat bittersweet. As for Peter and I, the start of school signifies yet another year we are missing in our lives with Mattie.

Today my parents and I went out and did a chore that involved going to a furniture store. They happen to know the owner of this particular store and we got to talking with him. I asked him how his daughter was doing at college. She just went back East to go to school. This is her freshman year! It turns out that his son is also in college, making him and his wife empty nesters! He was talking about how lonely this feeling is and the adjustment this takes! Naturally I was listening to this and of course as a feeling person I could process what he was saying and could empathize, but then taking a step back, I realized this would NOT be something I could ever appreciate first hand. I will never have the opportunity to raise Mattie through high school, he will never attend college, and Peter and I will never be empty nesters like this. 

Peter and I are instead living the lives of empty nesters, except our emptiness comes with tremendous baggage, not much happiness or the fulfillment of having raised a child. As the fifth anniversary of Mattie's death approaches, I am already thinking about how Peter and I will honor this occasion and the beautiful life of Mattie Brown. 

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