Monday, August 25, 2014
Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2007. We took Mattie to one of his favorite places, The George C. Page Museum, where the LaBrea tar pits are in Los Angeles. Behind Mattie is a tar pit with a model of a Woolly Mammoth trapped in it. Mattie loved learning about the tar pits, the fossil collections, and the research that continues on location.
Quote of the day: Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. ~ Pablo Picasso
This weekend Peter sent me this photo to let me know he was thinking of me! I LOVE sunflowers! Did I always love sunflowers? I am not so sure! Sunflowers were given to me by Team Mattie when Mattie was sick with cancer. They became an important symbol to me of hope and friendship! Friends gave them to me to try to cheer me up and to let me know that they cared about us under the worst possible circumstances and conditions. I will never forget that feeling! Though Mattie is no longer with us the feeling these flowers evoke is alive and well within me. When I see sunflowers they remind me of the time Mattie was alive, when we were battling cancer together, and when we were surrounded by our care community! Therefore to me this will forever be a special flower. A flower that symbolizes Mattie, hope, love, and community. Basically it is NOT JUST A FLOWER to me.
My parents and I went out and did some chores today and we also bought some flowers to plant in the front and backyard. We got a row of hydrangeas which I will plant over the course of this week! It is supposed to be in the upper 90's this week and Los Angeles has a watering restriction!!! Since they have had little to NO RAIN! So keeping anything green here is a real feat!
This evening we are going out to dinner with friends of my parents! I haven't seen these particular friends since my wedding day! So needless to say this is a LONG TIME AGO for me. I mentioned in last night's blog that my parents and I went to Calabasas yesterday. I explained that when I was in high school I visited Calabasas frequently to visit my parent's friends! Well it turns out the friends I was talking about are the friends we are visiting with this evening. They no longer live in Calabasas but in Northern California. Which is why I rarely see them! They called last night and are in town! It is just a coincidence that I am here while they are here, since this rarely happens! It seems to me that they knew me a lifetime ago when I had just gotten married! Now I am not only married and had a child, but I had a child WHO DIED! I am a very different person and to me it is hard to meet people who haven't evolved with me. I can certainly have these gatherings, it is just harder.
I would say it is challenging for a grieving parent to know how to exist in the every day world at times and to know how to re-engage with people who once knew us. The awkwardness goes two ways. It isn't only the griever who has issues, many times it is friends who do not know how to be a part of our lives any more either. Sometimes friends find it easier to just give us time and space, or decide to give us time and space out of respect. But unfortunately with time and space, what happens is the creation of a very large divide between friends that I have found can not be easily repaired.
Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2007. We took Mattie to one of his favorite places, The George C. Page Museum, where the LaBrea tar pits are in Los Angeles. Behind Mattie is a tar pit with a model of a Woolly Mammoth trapped in it. Mattie loved learning about the tar pits, the fossil collections, and the research that continues on location.
Quote of the day: Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. ~ Pablo Picasso
This weekend Peter sent me this photo to let me know he was thinking of me! I LOVE sunflowers! Did I always love sunflowers? I am not so sure! Sunflowers were given to me by Team Mattie when Mattie was sick with cancer. They became an important symbol to me of hope and friendship! Friends gave them to me to try to cheer me up and to let me know that they cared about us under the worst possible circumstances and conditions. I will never forget that feeling! Though Mattie is no longer with us the feeling these flowers evoke is alive and well within me. When I see sunflowers they remind me of the time Mattie was alive, when we were battling cancer together, and when we were surrounded by our care community! Therefore to me this will forever be a special flower. A flower that symbolizes Mattie, hope, love, and community. Basically it is NOT JUST A FLOWER to me.
My parents and I went out and did some chores today and we also bought some flowers to plant in the front and backyard. We got a row of hydrangeas which I will plant over the course of this week! It is supposed to be in the upper 90's this week and Los Angeles has a watering restriction!!! Since they have had little to NO RAIN! So keeping anything green here is a real feat!
This evening we are going out to dinner with friends of my parents! I haven't seen these particular friends since my wedding day! So needless to say this is a LONG TIME AGO for me. I mentioned in last night's blog that my parents and I went to Calabasas yesterday. I explained that when I was in high school I visited Calabasas frequently to visit my parent's friends! Well it turns out the friends I was talking about are the friends we are visiting with this evening. They no longer live in Calabasas but in Northern California. Which is why I rarely see them! They called last night and are in town! It is just a coincidence that I am here while they are here, since this rarely happens! It seems to me that they knew me a lifetime ago when I had just gotten married! Now I am not only married and had a child, but I had a child WHO DIED! I am a very different person and to me it is hard to meet people who haven't evolved with me. I can certainly have these gatherings, it is just harder.
I would say it is challenging for a grieving parent to know how to exist in the every day world at times and to know how to re-engage with people who once knew us. The awkwardness goes two ways. It isn't only the griever who has issues, many times it is friends who do not know how to be a part of our lives any more either. Sometimes friends find it easier to just give us time and space, or decide to give us time and space out of respect. But unfortunately with time and space, what happens is the creation of a very large divide between friends that I have found can not be easily repaired.
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