Thursday, February 4, 2016

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Tonight's picture was taken on February 18, 2009. This was classic Mattie! Mattie was in his PICU room building something out of Popsicle sticks and at the same time was eating a cupcake. Mattie was the ultimate multi-tasker. Some people who do more than one thing at a time, don't do either task well. Mattie however, could concentrate on multiple things at one time and the products of each were excellent. 


Quote of the day: As I walk through the redwood trees, my sneakers sopping up days of rain, I wonder why bereaved people even bother with mourning clothes, when grief itself provides such an unmistakable wardrobe. ~ Jandy Nelson

Today is World Cancer Day. Typically when cancer is discussed we think about adults. But we can't forget about our children. Cancer is the #1 killer of children by disease, and every three minutes a child around the world is diagnosed with cancer.

Over the past 20 years only three new drugs have been approved for use in children, while most children are treated with drugs from the 1950's and 1960's. Cancer is much more than a physical disease. We can't forget that 59% of children treated develop a mental health issue and PTSD is well documented in parents whose children have completed treatment.

MORE FACTS:

1. Every day 46 children are diagnosed with cancer (American Childhood Cancer Organization, 2014).
2. Each day, 7 children die from cancer (Surveillance Epidemiology and End Results Cancer Statistics Review/ National Cancer Institute, 2012).
3. As a result of treatment, 59% of children have a diagnosable mental health issue (DeMaso & Shaw, 2010).
4. Childhood cancer threatens every aspect of the family's life and the possibility of a future, which is why optimal cancer treatment must include psychosocial care (Institute of Medicine, 2008 - Cancer Care for the Whole Patient).
5. The provision of psychosocial care has been shown to yield better management of common disease-related symptoms and adverse effects of treatment such as pain and fatigue (Jacobsen et al., 2012).
6. For children and families, treating the pain, symptoms, and stress of cancer enhances quality of life and is as important as treating the disease (Institute of Medicine 2015 - Comprehensive Care for Children with Cancer and Their Families).
7. Childhood cancer survivors reported higher rates of pain, fatigue and sleep difficulties compared with siblings and peers, all of which are associated with poorer quality of life (Children's Oncology Group Long Term Follow-Up Guidelines, 2013).
8. Changes in routines disrupt day-to-day functioning of siblings (Alderfer et al., 2010). Siblings of children with cancer are at risk for emotional and behavioral difficulties, such as anxiety, depression, and PTSD (Alderfer et al., 2003). 
9. Symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder are well documented for parents whose children have completed cancer treatment (Kazak et al., 2004).
10. Chronic grief has been associated with many psychological (e.g., depression and anxiety) and somatic symptoms (e.g., loss of appetite, sleep disturbances, fatigue), including increased mortality risk (Alam et al., 2012).

Today I hosted a birthday luncheon for my friend, Ann. I selected a restaurant overlooking the Potomac River, which was the perfect choice since it was grey and cloudy today. Yet being in this bright, open and picturesque restaurant seemed to help how we all felt. 

The table was garnished with all sorts of flowers which also made it feel like it was spring in February! Around the table with me were many of our mutual friends from Mattie's preschool. It is an interesting dynamic for me to be surrounded by women, in which our commonality is our children. That is how we met, however, I am the only one in the group whose child is no longer living. It is natural that these women would talk about their children, their happenings in their lives, and the issues associated with raising teenagers. Nothing of which I can relate to anymore. Which to put it bluntly is hard. But as a bereaved parent, I could either curl up in a corner and ignore the world (which I do on occasion) or try to function in the every day world. 

For years I knew Ann's favorite dessert is a white chocolate raspberry cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory. So I asked this restaurant whether I could bring a cake in from the outside. They accommodated my request. 

Our waiter, Anthony, was lovely! He took this photo of us. From left to right (standing) are:
Mary, Catherine, Tina, Jane, Dawnee, and me. Of course Ann is our seated guest of honor.