Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2009. Mattie was home between treatments and as you can see he wanted to help us paint the deck. In fact, Mattie was a good painter. Every spring he would help us paint the deck when he was well and the beauty of Mattie was he was a neat painter. As this photo illustrates, Mattie could no longer stand and three out of his four limbs were still recovering from limb salvaging surgery. So the left leg, known as "Curious George," pitched in that day to help with the deck. The irony was that Mattie's left leg worked as well as an arm and the foot was like a hand. Absolutely amazing how other body parts can compensate for those injured or not functioning.
Quote of the day: I wish I had done everything on earth with you. ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
Every July, the Hallmark Movie Channel plays Christmas movies. When they first started doing this years ago I thought it was odd. But now having watched them each summer, I get the point. Christmas is not just a day, but it evokes a feeling. It is that feeling that Hallmark tries to bring to its viewers during the hot days of summer.Last night, we watched "Switched for Christmas." Peter is a good sport and does indeed watch these movies with me. Which I appreciate, as watching a movie alone isn't as fun. In any case, the movie's premise is about twins who decide to stitch lives for a few weeks. One of them has a high powered job, lives in the city, and isn't married and doesn't have children. Whereas the other woman is a teacher and a single mom of two living in the suburbs. The point of me telling you this is not necessarily to promote the movie, but to explain that even while watching a Hallmark movie about Christmas, we are impacted by the loss of Mattie. In fact, at one point, we paused the movie to talk.
Christmas is much more than trees, decorations, parties, gifts, and cookies! All of these things are wonderful, but any major holiday tends to evoke memories. Memories that can be captured through listening to a song, watching a movie (like a Charlie Brown's Christmas), or eating certain foods and partaking in activities that were shared with family and friends over the years. These traditions land up swirling around in our heads and are a part of our life story. The thing is, once you are a parent, one of the gifts you provide your children are shared traditions and memories. As we see these Hallmark Christmas movies, it causes us to pause and once again visually see how different our lives are. How sad that we can't pass done family thoughts, traditions, and activities to Mattie, and of course make new one together.
So taking this a step further, it is very apparent to me why bereaved parents are not exactly in love with the holidays. Even if the holidays are being conveyed in only a movie. Yet I love Hallmark movies. I suppose they could depress others because the scenes and sentiments portrayed in many of them are not realistic. Instead, what is captured is a more perfect world. A world where there is no traffic, where people talk and listen to each other, where valuing time and communication with others are tantamount, and well for me.... I always envy those wonderful cookies and baked goods that seem integrated into every Hallmark movie. In Hallmark land people bake, cook, share time together, and at the end of the day there is ALWAYS a happy ending. The running joke Peter has with me is I have to move into a Hallmark movie. Yes indeed, if only it was that easy.
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