Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2004. Mattie was two and half years old. That day, Mattie's first preschool (which he lasted at for about two months!), had a field trip to Butler's Orchard in Maryland. It was the only good thing that came out of that preschool, was being introduced to this farm. Any case, I got myself included in this outing as a chaperone. Mattie loved going out into the field, riding a hay wagon, and picking a pumpkin off the vine. It was a neat experience. Though it was a damp and rainy day, to me this is still a great photo. It was at this same location that I took the quintessential pumpkin photos years later. This is the photo that I use in any and every presentation for Mattie Miracle.
Quote of the day: Every morning I wake up to perform my one and only character. A Rising Phoenix in spite of it all. ~ Michele Bell
I have felt very overwhelmed today. I had to get the house ready for my in-laws' visit as well as get my parents up and moving. My dad had a physical therapy session at the hospital today, which required leaving the house at 10am. Which I am telling you is a feat of grand proportion! Honestly some days I just don't know how I do it. It is physically and emotionally beyond draining.
I took my dad to his session today and left my mom in the hospital atrium, listening to the live piano music, drinking hot tea, and sitting in a comfortable chair. I did the 45 minute session with my dad and then we came back down to get my mom. When I arrived where she was sitting, I found her in tears and hysterical. I honestly did not know what was wrong. I then learned that one of her friends who she knew from New York, who then moved to California around the time they did in the 1980's died today. My mom hasn't been in touch with this friend for a while, mainly because the friend had dementia and was living in a nursing home. Dementia has a way of separating people and killing relationships. In any case, this woman's death hit my mom hard. At first I did not quite understand my mom's extreme reaction (it took my 60 minutes in the hospital atrium to calm her down). But then I tried to sit back and put two and two together. I think this friend symbolized many things for my mom and this woman's death, I believe made her reflect on happier and healthier times, as well as my mom's own future demise. My mom is not happy with the way her life turned out, and the impact of my dad's dementia on her life.
This crying fit was a balancing act! As I was managing my mom's reaction and my dad was absolutely clueless. He knew this couple for over 50 years, yet my dad had NO recollection of his friend, much less his wife (who just died). My dad was oblivious and all he could focus on was when we were going to get up, go to the bathroom and get back to the car. He had no reaction to my mom crying and really did not understand what was going on.
There are times I want to stand up and scream. I don't have a minute to return emails, return phone calls, or do anything. My parent's are all consuming and they have significant enough issues that require constant support. Given that my in-laws are visiting, I am trying to plan some activities, so we are not sitting around looking at each other all day. My parents and my in-laws have very different lifestyles and opinions about things, therefore, this adds another layer of stress to my already full plate.
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