Thursday, November 27, 2025

Thursday, November 27, 2025

Tonight's picture was taken in November of 2008. Mattie received this cute turkey hat from his school counselor. I will never forget snapping this photo. He was the cutest turkey around. However, Thanksgiving 2008 (our last Thanksgiving together) will remain fresh in my mind always! Why? Because of the feelings it evokes! Mattie was home recovering from his limb salvaging surgery and he was in pain, miserable, and had classic PTSD symptoms. We tried everything to change the mood in our home, but nothing worked. For me, Thanksgiving 2008, will always be permanently etched in my mind and heart, after all I can't think of something much worse than seeing your child so ill, in pain, and traumatized and NOT being able to do anything about it. 

Quote of the day: In truth a family is what you make it. It is made strong, not by number of heads counted at the dinner table, but by the rituals you help family members create, by the memories you share, by the commitment of time, caring, and love you show to one another, and by the hopes for the future you have as individuals and as a unit. ~ Marge Kennedy

Today was not a good day emotionally. I most likely should have stayed home and cooked Thanksgiving dinner. Going out is becoming just as complicated as it is to stay home. The restaurant was super busy this year, much more so than last year. Navigating crowds with my parents is super challenging and there is just me. I have NO help with bags, coats, and cushions. When we arrived at the restaurant, I pulled up to the front door and parked my car with my hazard lights on. I told my dad to stay in the car, because I had to get my mom inside first. Thank goodness I did this because as soon as we got inside, the front hallway was total chaos. There would have been no place for my dad to sit if I took him inside with us. So my mom and I waited for our table, then 15 minutes later, I helped her to the table and then ran back outside to get my dad. I got him to the table, and then ran back outside again to park the car. Seriously just getting them inside and to the table, was exhausting. Whenever I sit at a table, it is glaringly obvious who is missing, and on holidays that feeling is sickening. 

Though Cheryl, our server, was not working today, she stopped by the restaurant, to give me these gifts. That is how special she is! 

The actual meal was wonderful! My mom and I had turkey. I have always been a turkey fan. In fact if you were to ask me what my favorite meal is...... I would say turkey, potatoes, stuffing, and cranberry sauce! 

My dad on the other hand isn't a turkey fan. So he had ham!

Doesn't this look wonderful? The turkey was super tender, not fatty, and the sides were fantastic! I know you may not believe this, but I practically ate everything on this plate! 

Then came dessert and that was a nightmare. The restaurant serves pie, from a pie company in Maryland. This pie company provided amazing pies last year, but this year, to me, they were inedible. But I admit, I am VERY picky about pies! Food is so important to me, and probably the one and only thing I still enjoy. I actually get very upset when a bad product is served to me. I literally told our server, that I could go into the kitchen at that very moment and bake a better pie! 

But of course no good deed goes unpunished. My dad had to go to the bathroom during dinner. Because tables were so close to one another, I had trouble negotiating through the crowd to get him and his walker to the restroom. When I finally got him there, I had a big clean up job to do of him, the floor, and the bathroom! I don't deal with these issues on occasion, I deal with them daily, and sometimes I say to myself..... who else would deal with this? 

When we finally got home and I got my dad to his chair, you want to know what his first question was when he sat down? It was..... when are we going out to eat?! It was at that point that I lost it. I lost it because I do the impossible to try to make the day as pleasant as possible for them, but with my dad's Alzheimer's he has no memory from minute to minute. Case in point, when I asked him who Anne Spallone was last night, he said that Anne was my mom. WRONG! Anne Spallone was my maternal grandmother! I am well aware that my dad's cognitive issues are disease related and not intentional, but as a human being living with Alzheimer's 24/7 for four years now, there are times that I want to pull my hair out and then on top of that, I curse the day that I was left to deal with everything on my own and live life as a single person. So bottom line, and I am giving you the cliff notes version..... it wasn't a good day.