Sunday, December 9, 2012Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2007. Mattie celebrated Christmas that year in Florida and one of the places we took Mattie to was Butterfly World (http://www.butterflyworld.com/). It became one of our favorite places to visit over the years. It is such a magical place filled with incredible sights of beauty. One of the places within the gardens is an aviary. In this photo you can see Mattie got a chance to feed some very special birds. These were very friendly birds. They would sit on your shoulder, back, head, or where ever they could find a comfortable perch. In the beginning Mattie was intimidated by all this flapping around, but he quickly learned that the birds were simply motivated to eat and wanted the nectar within the cup he was holding.
Quote of the day: Grief does not change you. It reveals you. ~ John Green
I showed Peter this photo tonight as I was posting it and his first response was laughter. He was laughing because Peter was the one in this tented bird area helping Mattie navigate around. Peter usually had on a back pack, and for some reason the birds were attracted to the pack. Literally Peter would be walking around and three or four birds were automatically attached to him. It was an hysterical sight. Mattie observed Peter and since Peter wasn't bothered by the birds and Mattie could see the birds weren't hurting Peter, Mattie approached the birds with greater ease. However, Peter's second response to seeing the photo was..... "it seems like yesterday."
In reality this photo was taken five years ago, but for us, it is entrenched in our minds. As if it happened yesterday. It is hard to have snapshots of Mattie's development and yet not have Mattie with us. The only thing that reminds us that we were parents are these memories. Sometimes people ask me why or where I get the energy to write the blog. The answer is I write the blog to remember and to share Mattie's story with all of you. If I do not write, what would happen? I am not sure, but I can assure you it takes great mental capabilities to actively keep memories alive and keep them real.
I would say that tonight's quote is quite true, grief does reveal you! Before Mattie developed cancer in July of 2008, Peter and I were private people. This all changed when Mattie's blog was created. At that point, our every move was shared and reported, so that family and friends knew what was going on with Mattie's treatment and care. It was a hard transition to go from being private to very public, but I felt it was necessary in order to build up support for Mattie. Support that was crucial for his treatment and recovery. A recovery which never happened. Instead of recovery however, we were dealt the hand of Mattie's death and now grief. So though the blog wasn't designed to be a chronicle of a family's battle with bereavement, it is a natural place to turn to for support. It is amazing to think that over four years later after the blog was originally created over 200 or more people in any given day click on the blog to check on us! Amazing, the force of Mattie's life lives on in our words, thoughts, reflections, feelings, and with each click on his blog. THANK YOU for making this possible!
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