Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2008. We took Mattie out on the Potomac River in a canoe. Mattie loved being on the water, checking out the birds, and even fishing! Prior to having Mattie, I appreciated the outdoors, but my interest in nature grew with Mattie. In Mattie's first years of life, he hated to be confined and really preferred fresh air, regardless of the season. So I learned to go outside, do all sorts of nature trails, go on the water in boats, and you name it to keep him stimulated and entertained. The irony is that through Mattie's cancer battle I have now become just like him. I prefer being outdoors and the fewer the number of people around me the better.
Quote of the day: Often, it’s not about becoming a new person, but becoming the person you were meant to be, and already are, but don’t know how to be. ~ Heath L. Buckmaster
Today was a hard transition back for both Peter and me. Hard in different ways. Peter had 1000 work related emails to answer and process through. He did this while also juggling meetings, and a work agenda. I on the other hand had to come to terms with the fact that our vacation is over and now I need to devote time to things that fell by the wayside while planning the Foundation Walk.
A good portion of my day was spent evaluating a National Institute of Health grant proposal that one of the psycho-oncologists who works with the Foundation sent to me. He wanted my take on the project and felt that between being a mental health practitioner and a parent of a child who had cancer, that I would have the necessary insights to evaluate the project. This proposal was sent to me prior to the Foundation Walk, but it was only today, did I have the energy to read through all the pages and its attachments!
As I say often, one can be a clinician working with parents of children who have cancer for years, and therefore have great insights from on the job training. Yet, despite all the training and assisting of families, nothing takes the place of first hand knowledge. Unfortunately in this case, I know all too well about the stresses and traumas associated with having a child diagnosed with cancer. Therefore, what sounds like a good technique or strategy in theory, is just that..... theory! For example in the proposal, parents of children battling cancer will have the opportunity to work one on one with a therapist for six to eight sessions in the hospital. Each session is over an hour long. Between sessions, parents are asked to do homework. Honestly when I read this, I laughed out loud and then said, "you got to be kidding me!!!!" When in the hospital caring for Mattie, I never left his side for over an hour even to eat and take a mental health break. So most likely leaving his side to attend a training session, was definitely not going to happen. Forget homework! I am lucky I had the where with all at the end of the day to write a blog and brush my teeth. If anyone asked me to do homework in the midst of this nightmare, I would have had a fit! So again, what works in theory and what the reality is can be two different things!
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