A Remembrance Video of Mattie

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to me that you take the time to write and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful and help support me through very challenging times. I am forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically have stopped writing on September 9, 2010. However, like my journey with grief there is so much that still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with me, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki



June 8, 2013

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2008. Peter took Mattie to Nationals Stadium to see a baseball game. I wasn't with them, so I have no idea what Peter said to Mattie that caused him to show excitement in this photo. Mattie was like me, in that sporting events were not important to us. But both of us liked to people watch and fortunately for us, Nats park is filled with all sorts of places to shop, that it can keep even the non-sports enthusiast busy! In fact, it was at Nats park that Mattie built his first Build-a-Bear teddy bear. In Mattie's case, he selected to stuff a black stuffed animal dog and dressed it in Nats attire. This dog is on Mattie's bed even today!


Quote of the day: When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier. ~ Diane Von Furstenberg


Peter is safely in Boston, he left DC bright and early today, and was even able to attend the Red Sox game at 1pm. Apparently for the cult (I do think that Red Sox fans are part of a cult, they are NOT just fans!!!) following, you already know that the Red Sox lost today to the Los Angeles Angels. It started out grey and rainy and I thought the day was going to remain just as depressing as it started. Fortunately the sun did eventually come out. However, from my perspective it wouldn't have mattered at all. I have decided to work through Saturday and Sunday.

I began my day processing the last set of donations that have come in for the Walk. Acknowledgments were printed out, signed, and mailed. My next task was to tackle a large closet in Mattie's room. Though it was Mattie's room, he and I shared closet space. I have a tendency to hold onto clothes for quite a while, however, I couldn't handle the chaos I was seeing every time I opened the doors. So literally I spent a good six hours on this closet and made great progress. I have more to do tomorrow but I figure Goodwill is going to love me, since I am donating 18 pairs of shoes and countless bags of clothes.

All of us like to collect certain items, shoes are my hobby. I love shoes and even keep shoes that no longer fit me. I don't know the thinking there, maybe I thought one day my foot would somehow miraculous squeeze back into some of my favorite shoes. The shape of my foot changed after I gave birth to Mattie. I used to have a very narrow foot, but pregnancy changed that and my foot never went back to being narrow again. So today I said goodbye to all my lovely pre-Mattie shoes. Someone else will hopefully enjoy them because they are in great shape! All my shoes are kept in their original boxes because I like to keep them dust free and protected. As you can probably deduced from reading this.... I really LIKE shoes!

This afternoon, I took a break and went to visit my friend Mary who lives in an assisted living facility. When I got to Mary's room, she seemed startled to see me. Mind you I saw her yesterday and I told her I was coming today and tomorrow. But this kind of short term information doesn't get processed any longer in Mary's brain. Though Mary was mute, through a garbled word or two, I could tell she was happy to see me. We spent a few hours together, I helped her with dinner, and also put lotion on her arms and legs! I suppose it is no wonder why I have been nicknamed by Mary's caregiver as....."the lotion lady!" All I know is if I were in Mary's position, I would hope someone would come and talk with me, help me with dinner, and change the fragrance in the room and on me! These may seem like small things, but it is the small things when living in an institution that equate to a whole lot of BIG things!

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