Tonight's picture was taken on August 6th of 2009 (the day after we learned Mattie's cancer was terminal). To me this photo puts SO many things into context. Mainly because about a month later, Mattie died. It is hard for me to even wrap my head around the fact that Mattie was in such tremendous pain here and yet look..... HE WAS SMILING!!!! Naturally I am biased but Mattie's smile had a way of making you feel happy. Cancer did not change this simple fact about him and sometimes when I pause and think about what this six year old went through, I have to say he was one of the bravest and most courageous people I have known.
Quote of the day: We’d met at a carefree time, a moment full of promise, in its place now were the harsh lessons of the real world. ~ Nicholas Sparks
As my faithful readers know, I am a big Nicholas Sparks fan. I have read all of his books and it is thanks to his books that I wanted to go to Emerald Isle, NC this spring. When I read Sparks' quote tonight, my immediate reaction was this describes PETER AND ME! Peter and I met in college, so in my opinion, that in and of itself describes a carefree time in one's developmental history. But Mattie's cancer diagnosis and death have certainly replaced the promise we once had with the harsh reality of life. It is the simple truth.
The highlight of my day today was seeing my friend Nancy. Nancy lives in New York and was here in DC for a conference. The conference that brought Nancy to town was the same conference in which we met many years ago. Nancy and I are colleagues first but quickly became friends. Now several years later, though I am no longer emotionally connected to this particular association, Nancy and I remain friends and confidantes.
We covered a lot of territory over lunch and one of the birthday gifts Nancy gave me was a verbal gift. She wanted me to know that she feels people are drawn to me, that I make people feel important and cared about, and this is most likely why I was considered a leader in the counseling field. Nancy's words are a gift that will always remain with me.
This evening Peter and I went out to dinner. While seated, I had the unfortunate pleasure of watching a couple with their only child eating dinner. The fact that it was a family that looked like ours at one time wasn't what set me off. What set me off was the level of absolute self absorption and dysfunction. This couple had a healthy and active child in their presence and yet do you want to know what was happening at the table?!!! Absolutely nothing. No one said two words to each other throughout the meal. Each parent was glued to his/her own smart phone. I was disgusted. Meanwhile the child was bouncing around the restaurant totally unsupervised. Mind you this was a young child and we are in the heart of the city. It just left me shaking my head and wondering. Sometimes we don't see the simple gifts right in front of us. I wanted to tell these parents to........... Put down the PHONE, have a meaningful conversation, and build bonds and connections that will make life worth living.
1 comment:
The oblivious nature of some parents is so very true. I am always shocked at how little positive attention many children receive. It is no wonder that they act out in inappropriate ways.
-CB
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