Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2008. Mattie was in his third month of treatment and by that time, he understood the lay of the land at the hospital. He knew who the volunteers were and when they came to the pediatric floor. Given that Mattie was in the hallway and holding a dry ice snowball, I know that it had to be a Friday. On Fridays, the university's chemistry club came to the unit and always did a hands on experiment with the kids. Mattie loved the club and got along with Chris, the club president. No matter how ill Mattie was, he always eagerly awaited Chris' arrival. Many times Mattie was too sick to leave his room. On those occasions, Chris moved the experiments to Mattie's room.
Quote of the day: Today's coronavirus update from Johns Hopkins.
- number of people diagnosed with the virus: 7,796,625
- number of people who died from the virus: 215,028
I have a friend who has lived in this area for a very long time. In fact, her children (who Mattie went to preschool with) were born and raised here. She and her family are now facing a move to another state, about 6 hours away. We all cope with moves differently, and ironically though it is my friend who is moving, it evoked all the feelings stored inside of me about moving from New York to California.
My dad took a job in Los Angeles when I was in 9th grade. I completed 9th grade in NY, while my dad started his job in LA. However, that summer we moved as a family and I started 10th grade in Los Angeles. To this very day, I can still remember how traumatic this move was, and it may explain my feelings about being planted. One would think that moving at an early age would make me more flexible to change. Unfortunately the exact opposite happened to me. I am opposed to change, I face it with a great deal of trepidation, and I am aware of how one decision does affect the trajectory of your life.
In the article below, it mentioned a study which found between 30 and 50 percent of people who moved regretted their decision to move. That is a pretty high percentage of people. The concept of "place attachment" was also mentioned and it can take up to 3-5 years to develop this attachment to a new place. This attachment doesn't just happen but instead it requires us to actively engage in certain behaviors and actions to make this new experience become a positive fit. For myself, I never developed this place attachment to Los Angeles. I lived there three years and I enjoy visiting it. But that is the extent of it. I did all the things mentioned in the Psychology Today article as a teenager (I left the house, I did social things, and I invested in activities I liked), but it wasn't enough.
Rather funny how I have internalized my friend's situation, into my own. Given how I feel about moving, I know it is important to keep myself in check when talking to my friend or others who are faced with a move. As people move for all sorts of reasons, and at the end of the day, if you asked me now what I gained from moving to LA... my answer would be I gained a great deal of courage, personal fortitude and a great sensitivity to those who are new to a community. I don't like seeing anyone left out, mainly because I know first hand what it feels like to be different.
Why You're Miserable After a Move:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/is-where-you-belong/201607/why-youre-miserable-after-move
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