Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2009. By this point we knew that Mattie's cancer diagnosis was terminal. Mattie was attached to a portable pain pump and oxygen. Mattie wanted to play with his remote controlled boat. So we got his pool out and Captain Mattie was in control. Mattie always wanted to own a boat of his own when he got older. In fact, he would tell you that whatever money he was gifted, he was saving it in his piggy bank for a boat! Not a toy one, but a real one! I am saddened that wish never became a reality.
Quote of the day: What separates us from the animals, what separates us from the chaos, is our ability to mourn people we’ve never met. ~ David Levithan
I found tonight's quote and when I read it, it immediately resonated with me. It seems very fitting to post such a quote on 9/11. As 3,000 people lost their lives that day and therefore 3,000 families will never be the same. EVER! Whether we were living in New York, Washington, DC or Pennsylvania, it truly doesn't matter. What matters is that our fellow Americans were tragically killed and that should evoke a response within all of us. A human response. As tonight's quote points out....... YES, I definitely think we are capable of mourning for the lives of people we never met.
Yet there is a whole segment of our society who wasn't alive during this national tragedy in 2001. For them it has no significance, and to me, this is NOT okay! When my mom and I were talking about 9/11, my dad had ABSOLUTELY no understanding for what we were talking about. When I tried to explain to him what happened to the twin towers in New York, the Pentagon in Washington, DC or at that field in Shanksville, PA, he had no recollection. NONE! I am not sure why that upset me so much, as I know my dad can't remember one minute to the next and has lost a good portion of his long term memory as well. Yet events unite us. Common memories bond us, so where are we without these shared experiences? All I know, as a caregiver, is that I live with this pervasive loss daily, thanks to Alzheimer's disease. Each day, I see another piece of our shared existence get wiped away. Until like everything else in my life..... I am left with nothing!
Like so many things, September 11, 2001, will always be etched in my mind. It was a beautiful sunny September morning, truly glorious. As if nothing could be wrong with the world, well until it was! I had the TV on and OH I SHOULD MENTION I WAS PREGNANT with Mattie. I was home alone and easing into the day, preparing for the university class I was going to be teaching that night. Then of course all hell broke loose as I was watching planes hitting buildings, buildings on fire, buildings crumbling, and people jumping out of buildings to desperately escape getting caught on fire. What I was observing was so horrific, so frightening, and incomprehensible.
That day, I did not know what to worry about first. Our Country, my own safety living in Washington, DC, or the health of my baby. That week, I was supposed to have my first visit to the obstetrician. Obviously that never happened, and I will never forget that sickening feeling that things would never be alright again. I think it was the first time in my life where I saw first hand that bad things can happen to good people, that we really have no control over our own existence, and that tomorrow is NOT guaranteed.
In a way, 9/11 is a national tragedy that bonds us together as a Country. We went through it together and therefore we can ALWAYS REMEMBER and grieve together. On a smaller scale though, what happens to parents when they loose a child to cancer? This is not a national tragedy, it isn't something we have all lived through, there is no TV coverage, and therefore it is not something we all learn to understand and absorb. THANKFULLY, as I wouldn't want everyone around me living with the death of a child. Nonetheless, not having this shared experience can leave grieving parents feeling very isolated! When I think about the enormous losses from 9/11, I can't help but look at that tragedy through my own lens of loss. So many lives NEVER TO BE FORGOTTEN!
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