Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2008. Mattie's art teacher, Debbie, came over to our home and was teaching Mattie about Kachina dolls, which are actually stylized religious icons, meticulously carved from cottonwood root and painted to represent figures from Hopi mythology. For generations, these figures have been used to teach Native American children about their religion. Mattie designed a beautiful doll that day, which still sits proudly in our living room! Mattie appreciated art and had this amazing force of creativity within him, that I believe served him SO well through his months of treatment and surgery. What I love about this picture was that it captured two artists at work, and in tune with each other!
Poem of the day: Joy and Sorrow by Charlie Brown
Life is joy and sorrow
And we don't get to choose
Why our portion is something
That we have to lose
I had you in my life
For only a short time
And together we had to face
An insurmountable climb
Now you are in a place
Where I cannot go
And when I think of you
It's with joy and sorrow
I honor your memory and spirit
And all that was you
And I will do my best
To make important dreams come true
To keep faith with myself
And those who are our friends
And fight this dread disease
Right up until the end.
Although you are not here
I know that you can see
And I will do my best
To make you proud of me.
I had the wonderful opportunity today to spend the day with Debbie, Mattie's art teacher. Debbie invited me, Junko, and Luda to her studio for a private lesson in Sumi-e art. The local artist who spent the day with us was Yoshiko Oishi-Weick. Yoshiko expresses her profound love of nature through her Sumi-e brush. Sumi-e art has been practiced in Japan for centuries and is one of its oldest fine-art forms. Using simple black ink and brushes of various sizes, Yoshiko's works follow the theme of "Nature is Beautiful."
She studied Sumi-e since 1980. Her works have been displayed in galleries and exhibitions around the world, including in Tokyo, Beijing, Seoul, and Paris. She has also been working as an Artist in Residence at the Wesley Theological Seminary in Washington DC since 2004.
Yoshiko never met Mattie, but she saw Mattie's "Mr. Sun" painting in Debbie's studio in 2008. She commented to me how artistic Mattie was, and unlike other strangers I have met, Yoshiko wanted to see a picture of my little artist. So I grabbed my wallet, and pulled out all my Mattie pictures. She immediately told me that she saw the resemblance of Mattie to me. She couldn't get over the story I was telling her about Mattie, the ordeal and pain he dealt with, and of course the fact that he died at age 7. Yoshiko is a deeply spiritual person, and Debbie warned me about this, since I have a feeling Debbie knows that I am struggling with my own spiritual issues right now. Yoshiko however felt that Mattie's spirit was in Debbie's studio today and was channeling his energy through my painting. It was a very meaningful comment, and in a way, it was surreal to be standing in the exact spot that Mattie created Mr. Sun. Debbie's studio reminded me of Mattie today, I remembered that day, November 8, 2008, when Peter and I took Mattie to the studio to paint. I remember his energy and his focus as he began painting a canvas that was four times his size. Somehow he did not find that daunting.
Yoshiko was extremely patient. She taught us the art form of Sumi-e, which involves using a bamboo handled paint brush and black ink. For over 8 hours today, I worked on learning how to hold the brush and find the right consistency of water and ink on paper to create a camellia flower. Sounds simple, right? What could take me 8 hours to learn? Well I can't explain it, but using this brush and finding the right amount of water and ink on the brush to create the right tone and shading on the paper is close to impossible. The running joke today was I used more paper than any of the other students, and literally I worked on painting leaves for HOURS! I still did not master it. Yoshiko did come up to me after the session was over, and told me that she feels I did a great job and have real promise as an artist. She said that our cultures are different, and for my first time picking up such a brush and using this kind of ink, that I did very well. It was nice of her to say that, because I admit I was getting frustrated because I literally couldn't figure out how to thin out the ink so it wouldn't come out too black, and then when I did thin it out, it came out too watery on the paper. Nonetheless, what I think I discovered about myself today is I always wanted to be able to paint. I admire painters deeply, and I wish I could express myself in this format. Yoshiko then held up one of Junko's flowers and one of my flowers, and we had to comment on what aspects of them we liked. But what Yoshiko was trying to show us is that in our paintings, our personalities shone through. That part was very interesting to me psychologically! I captured some pictures of our creative process!
Left: From left to right are Luda, Debbie, Yoshiko, and Junko
Right: From left to right are Luda, Debbie, Yoshiko, and Vicki
Left: One of my final products.... Vicki's Camellia!
In the midst of our lesson, we took a lunch break. But it wasn't an ordinary lunch. We had traditional Japanese fare in light of the painting style we were learning. Junko made homemade miso soup, Luda brought us all types of sushi, Debbie prepared a dish, and also Debbie served us on beautiful and authentic Japanese china. We ate lunch in Debbie's garden. I should mention that Debbie has a Chinese maple in her garden dedicated to Mattie, with a childlike angel in front of it. So the setting was very special for us and the conversation was flowing.
All in all, it was a very memorable day in which Debbie truly worked very hard to provide us with fun, education, art, food, and friendship.
While I was painting I was sitting next to my buddy, Junko. Though sumi-e painting is supposed to be done in a quiet and meditative state, Junko and I couldn't help but talk to each other. We had a good time chatting about our art and at one point we took a break and talked about post-Walk feelings. Feelings which I found illicited tears. I was crying and Junko was crying too. We do this well together. But I appreciated her reflections, because for me to pretend that I am fine and life is happy isn't real for me. Somehow Junko understands that.
I would like to end tonight's posting wiht a message from my friend, Charlie. Charlie wrote, "I know that it is difficult for you to see the end of this school year and know that Mattie never had the chance to be a part of it even though he was still in treatment when it started. Thank you for posting the picture and story of Lauren and her bows; I know that the information that she is spreading with her project will last long after the bows are gathering dust. We often forget that the stories we share with our children are the ones with the greatest staying power and the most meaningful in our lives. You are a storyteller and a wonderful one, perhaps part of what you are meant to do is to find a way to spread Mattie's story even farther than it is now. As I practice today I send you the energy to help you through this time; I hold you gently in my thoughts."
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