Monday, July 4, 2011Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2003 in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. Mattie was one and this was his first trip to the beach! We celebrated the Fourth of July there and though Mattie wasn't wild about the sand or the ocean that year, you can see his little hand bunched up into a fist. This was one of the tell tale signs that Mattie was taking in his environment. His fingers were like antennae that grabbed and hooked onto information that he would bring back toward his body in the form of a FIST.
Quote of the day: When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. ~ Henri Nouwen
I selected this quote tonight because throughout our grief process, I have heard from many people about their uncertainty of how to help and support someone who is grieving. This quote responds to those concerns in a very meaningful way. Helping and supporting someone through grief is challenging, tedious, frustrating, and at times hopeless. Which is why friends have a hard time supporting each other through it. But with grief, there are NO magic words, pills, routines, or recipes to follow that provides healing. In fact I dare to say that the loss of a child is a lifelong healing process. A process that few people want to walk with you or commit to. It isn't a commentary, but a simple fact of life. However from my experience the best help we can offer someone who is grieving is our presence. A presence that isn't judgmental, isn't looking for an answer and a fix, and most importantly a presence that understands the powerlessness of the situation, and yet believes that the bond between two people can in and of itself be healing enough to help the bereaved cope with the complexities of grief.
I began my morning reading an article in The Washington Post entitled, Lost Pieces of the Past. I attached a link to the article below because it fascinated me. I suppose it interested me for MANY reasons. First, I was struck by the level of patriotism in this Country in 1976, and also by the fact that I never heard of the bicentennial Wagon Trains and the 22 million Americans who signed Rededication scrolls. Basically Americans signed these scrolls to symbolize their commitment to America on her 200th birthday. These scrolls were going to be placed in a time capsule and opened in 100 years. This was not just a piece of paper someone signed. No! Signing this document was taken VERY seriously. Some people quit their jobs to operate a wagon train, a wagon that would roam across states to seek signatures. Remember we did not have the Internet back then. These were Americans committed to a cause, a Country, and to preserving posterity. However, the sad part about all of this is NO ONE knows what happened to these scrolls. They were never buried at Valley Forge as promised, and it is said that we are talking about a stack of scrolls equivalent to a 20 story building!!! So where did they go?! It is a mystery. Nonetheless, every July 4th, "the wagon train participants who are still living travel to Valley Forge to reminisce about the year they spent together on covered wagons, full of optimism about America and what it meant." To read the story, click below:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/bicentennial-wagon-train-signatures-are-lost-pieces-of-american-past/2011/06/30/AGo7zxwH_story.html
Peter and I do not like traveling through the city by car on July 4th. Mainly because road closures are challenging! So instead, we walked to our local movie theatre. I rarely see movies because for the most part there is nothing playing that interests me. I need a movie with a plot, story line, dialogue and meaning. Unfortunately, this is NOT something Hollywood provides us with, or sadly even knows how to create anymore. However, for five years, Peter and I have been awaiting a Cars sequel. A movie that Mattie LOVED and gave us a great deal of pleasure watching OVER and OVER as a family. So in honor of Mattie, we decided to go see Cars 2 today.
I can honestly say I HATED this movie! It had absolutely NO redeeming value. In fact, the spy plot was most likely over the heads of our younger viewers because most children will not understand the complexities of oil versus alternative fuels. Putting the politically charged plot aside, I take great issue with the characters. In fact, I would imagine if you did not see the first movie, the sequel may not make much sense, because in Cars 2, there is no character development, the relationship between the cars seems perfunctory rather than meaningful, and just like everything else we expose our children to today..... the content was introduced quickly, furiously, with action, and without thought to feelings and emotions. I loved The Washington Post's review of this movie, especially this line... "Unfortunately, the sequel shortchanges the very relationships that gave the first movie its surprising heart." There was NO heart in this movie and the wonderful moral lessons in the first movie did not carry over into its sequel. I am not sure what Peter and I were hoping to find today, but I suspect I was hoping that a part of the magic that we felt in the first movie would be recaptured in some way.
One of the advantages of living in the City is experienced on July 4th. We can literally walk right out of our home and can see the Washington, DC fireworks at our doorstep. We do not have to stand in the crowds and we do not need to travel anywhere. Mattie loved this feature about where we live, though Patches our cat, isn't as happy about the loud noises. We hope our readers had a happy July 4th and as always thank you for including the blog in part of your day. In celebration of the day, I leave you with two things. The first link is an animated card featuring flowers from our 50 states. Mattie loved this card company and in the hospital we would watch these types of videos for hours. The second item I am sharing with you are some of the pictures of fireworks we took tonight. The National Capitol fireworks show is 17 minutes long, but it seems to just FLY by!
Enjoy seeing what it looks like if you put all 50 state flowers together in a bouquet.
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