Monday, June 20, 2022

Monday, June 20, 2022

Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2008. It is actually hard to imagine that this photo was taken one month before Mattie was diagnosed with cancer. We were clueless and naïve back then! I also find this photo rather ominous because in the background was Georgetown. A place we then spent over a year of our lives trying to fight back Mattie's cancer. This photo was taken on Roosevelt Island, a place Mattie loved to go to! That weekend we took Mattie and his remote controlled boat to the Island. As you can see, he and Peter got right into the Potomac River to play with the boat. The bathtub did not cut it anymore, Mattie needed more open water to test drive his boat. 

Quote of the day: It isn’t what we say or think that defines us, but what we do. ~ Jane Austen

Sunny got a lot of outdoor time today, but was staying close to the door. He wasn't acting like himself and yet again we are trying to figure out the right balance of anti-nausea drugs and have even added an anti-diarrheal to his daily routine. All I know is balance his chemo and his needs on top of my parents is quite a juggling act. 

Sunny loves his backyard time and I am grateful we have this space because now that I am a full time caregiver, I am finding it hard to figure out daily Sunny walks! 

Today was another day of back to back chores and tasks. Starting with changing and laundering my parent's bed linens. I always dread this day, because my dad uses about 15 pillows. 

I took my parents out to eat today. I am not sure what is harder cooking, serving, cleaning, and jumping and down to manage my dad's bathroom issues at home, or going out to eat. Either case, I never have a minute's peace. My dad eats super fast and I eat slowly. However, because I may have to jump up from the table at a moment's notice, I eat faster than I should. Which for me triggers hiccups. Some days I don't know if my food will be digested.

We have gotten to know our waitress very well. We followed her to a Clyde's in Maryland, after the Reston, VA location closed in May. Dawn cares for everyone in my family and she is very good with my dad. Out of fun, we create a cute report card for Dawn at each visit. I initially started this to engage my dad! However, like so many things, he refuses to think about questions and therefore makes me do it. So here was the report card I came up with for today! It isn't a typical rating sheet, but instead one that is interesting, humorous, and gets us all talking. I always try to find ways to engage my dad and get him to participate in conversation! Which I assure you is like mission impossible. 

While eating my dad asked me what day of the week it was! You should know that when at home he has a paper calendar in front of him, an electronic calendar (that tells him day, month, time, etc), and a dry erase board. I use the dry erase board each day to tell him the schedule for the day. As he completes things I check them off. Needless to say, he has access to what day it is, but nothing registers with him. So while at lunch, he asked me what day it was. Since we were in a restaurant, I know he doesn't have access to the calendars or dry erase board to find the answer to his question. So instead of outright telling him it was Monday, I asked him what was yesterday? HE HAD NO IDEA. Despite celebrating Father's Day! I reminded him that yesterday was Father's Day. So with that information, I asked him what day of the week does Father's Day fall on? He had NO IDEA. I mean NONE! 

I am a person with a great deal of patience, but day in and day out of NOT living a normal life, not having normal conversations and interactions, and not having the freedom to choose what I want to do, is beyond wearing. Of course as always no meal is complete without jumping up and running to the bathroom. As a result of the dementia, my dad really doesn't have an understanding for when he has to go until it is a full blown crisis. He gets worked up about all of this and as a result can stress us all out.