Saturday, May 13, 2023

Saturday, May 13, 2023

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2009. Mattie was home between treatments and that day we decided to take him for a walk to get some fresh air. Mattie's child life specialist gave him this wonderful wagon and Mattie elected to get a wagon ride. I will never forget this moment in time, because despite all that Mattie was going through, he always found a reason to smile. 

Quote of the day: Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end. ~ Scott Adams

Sometimes when I write my thoughts and feelings about things, it is easy to misconstrue my postings (I received a comment today from a reader who found last night's blog hurtful). Last night's posting talked about my experience going to my neighbor's grandparents day at his school. It was a day filled with many emotions and I feel it is important to remind my readers that I am a mom who lost her only child to cancer. 

In 2008, I had an amazing grandparents day adventure at Mattie's school, therefore that is etched in my mind. Being human it is hard not to compare one experience with the other, and therefore my commentary last night was reflective of that. In addition, those of you who know me well also know that I highly value the role of grandparents. I grew up with my maternal grandmother living with us and I am very influenced by her role in my life. I think more children should have the experience of growing up in a multi-generational household and the bond I share with my grandmother was very close and deep. 

Therefore when I said that I was annoyed that someone called me a grandmother yesterday, I realize that may need some clarification. How I interpreted her comment was that I look old, and given my intense role as a caregiver to my parents, I am very cognizant of the impact this is having on me physically and mentally. So the reaction is based on my own issues and insecurities and wasn't meant to be an insult to grandmothers. 

However, I also know that losing a child to cancer and then representing another child (who was the same age as Mattie when he was diagnosed with cancer) at his school is not an easy undertaking. In fact, I know many other people who may not have taken this request on. Despite my own emotions, what came first in my mind was helping a six year old child, making him feel special, and also showing him that he wasn't alone on this special day. I would have hoped that my readers understood this first and foremost about me, as I live my life in every sense of the word helping and caring for people.  

This afternoon we went to visit Dawn. She is one of our favorite servers at a restaurant we visit weekly. Dawn and I share the tragic loss of a son in common, and Dawn is absolutely fantastic with my dad. 

Dawn is going on a safari adventure with her daughter. To wish her a safe and great trip, I put together giraffe themed gifts and also in the bag was a beautiful begonia planted in a ceramic pot for Mother's Day. 

When we got to our table, Dawn decorated it for Mother's Day. There was a big butterfly balloon, two bouquets of flowers and chocolate covered strawberries! As always she spoils us and makes us feel special. The servers who take care of us weekly have become our friends and I am grateful they are part of our lives. 

Me, Peter, and Dawn!

A close up of the flowers and strawberries. When I moved my parents to Virginia in December of 2021, I had to figure out what restaurants to take them to, as they both love dining out. It is something my dad truly looks forward to. So it was at that point that we started to go to Clyde's at Reston and met Dawn. So Dawn has been a part of our lives for a year and a half. 

Dawn's cards, butterfly and flowers are all located near Mattie's Mr. Sun. Mother's Day is another holiday that poses great challenges for me. Since Dawn also lost a son, she understands these feelings all too well. 

This white bouquet was Dawn's gift to me and the one above was for my mom.