Tonight's picture was taken in March of 2007. That day, it snowed! Mattie wanted to go outside and play with the snow. So out we went. Mattie collected snow in his pails and built snow castles. Then we went into the commons area of our townhouse, to his rock collections, and picked up a few to decorate his castles. This was a signature Mattie move. He always decorated his castles with things found in nature. Same thing happened at the beach. Mattie would build and then we would walk the beach in search of shells, seaweed, sticks, and other debris. These items would then adorned his creations!
Quote of the day: Dogs are better than human beings because they know but do not tell. ~ Emily Dickinson
Last night, after a long day, I decided to work on an application for a funding source for the Foundation. The application had a quick turn around time, so I knew I had to address it. I am very grateful for this opportunity which was sent to me by a dear friend. However, some of the items being asked of me were a little beyond my comfort zone. Such as reporting revenue and expenses for example. The Foundation has a CPA, who provides us with an annual financial audit and files our IRS 990, but the simple things like a budget, I do not easily have access to. How I generate a budget, is not the same way someone with a business degree would do it. I spent a good portion of the evening Googling information on-line and looking for templates. I have the data, what I did not know exactly is how to format and present it. But I spent hours working on this. The application also required an annual report. Fortunately I had been working on one for the last month, so last night, I pulled it out and was able to tweak it. There would have been no way I could have quickly generated something of that magnitude overnight. So it was fortuitous that I had one!
What I notice about myself is I feel very uncertain, nervous, and at times overwhelmed. I have spent my entire adult life having a partner. It is very hard to go from two to one. For me it is a very unnatural way to interface with the world. Not only because I had a meaningful other half for 35 years, but because my other half was an integral part of every aspect of my life. When I had questions, when I had concerns, when I needed support, when I had ideas or feelings to share, there he was. Now I face all these things alone and not only alone, but managing the care of two people who require constant support and supervision. It is a daunting and unsettling existence.
Any case, by 1am, I submitted the application on-line. Actually my most productive hours are when my parents are sleeping. This is when the house is quiet, the TV isn't on, and no demands are placed on me. Given what I had to craft last night with this application, I needed the time to focus and concentrate. This morning when I awoke, I acknowledged internally what I accomplished last night.
Of course, no day is ever peaceful. When I woke my dad up this morning, I could tell he was sick. He was congested, coughing, and lethargic. I quickly did a COVID test and took his temperature. He had neither a fever nor COVID. I texted his doctor and explained his symptoms and the fact that my dad was coughing up yellow junk. My dad is back on antibiotics. This is his third round of antibiotics in about three months. The doctor tells me all sorts of things are going around and my dad's memory care center is the perfect breeding ground. I ran out this morning to pick up his medication at the pharmacy and I am hoping tomorrow is a better day!
No comments:
Post a Comment