.jpg)
Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2006. Mattie was four years old! That day, myself and Mattie's preschool teacher attended a Taste of DC event. We were both foodies and literally we did a group tour with a handful of people and experienced a food specialty at each restaurant we visited. It was a special day. When I came home, Mattie was thrilled to show me the bicycle he and my husband bought and assembled.
.jpg)
It was so wonderful to see Mattie smiling, happy, and eager to learn how to bicycle ride! I will NEVER forget this moment in time. Our commons area of our townhouse was the perfect place where Mattie learned to walk, run, fly a kite, ride a bicycle and even drive a ride-on vehicle!
Quote of the day: Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose. ~ Kevin Arnold
Today I happened to see an article entitled, If you can still remember these 10 things from your past, your mind is sharper than most in retirement. Naturally this caught my attention given my daily and personal encounters with dementia. I am constantly worried that I will have dementia as I age, and the pervasive question always is..... who is going to take care of me? I lost Mattie and now I lost my husband. In many ways, my husband was my institutional knowledge. He focused on certain things that were different from me, which was great, because then between the two of us we captured and remembered all the scenarios in our life. Now that he is gone, it is like I have had to say good-bye to 50% of my memories. The loss of one's history and memories is traumatic, and given that we have NO CONTACT with each other, it isn't like I can reach out and ask..... do you remember this? Or where was this photo taken? This brings me great sadness on top of of the daily sadness that absorbs me.
The article highlighted the ten things, that if we remember them, then our minds are active and sharp. They are:
- The phone numbers you used to dial by heart
- The exact lyrics to songs from your youth
- The way certain people made you feel
- The smell of places you haven’t been to in decades
- How you learned certain life lessons (the hard way)
- Specific moments from raising your kids (or being raised yourself)
- Old recipes you used to make from memory
- The layout of homes you haven’t visited in decades
- What you used to daydream about as a child
- The details of books you read decades ago
When you look at this list, what do you think? Can you remember all ten of these things? I think I am good with memories from numbers 2-9. Number 1 and number 10, forget it. But that said, I can remember the phone number of my parents home in California when I was a teenager and I can remember my mother in law's phone number (a number I learned when I was 19). How do I remember her number? Well here's the funny reason. When you listen to her answering machine, she basically says, you have reached....###-###-####! It is how she says it! She is a musician, so she says it in a way that is almost song like. So like the ABCs song you learn as a kid, I remember her phone number, because of the melody!
Overall however, I remember things, people, and places by HOW they make me feel! You would be surprised the details I can recall about experiences because of the feelings they evoked. But that said, that doesn't mean I remember the exact geographic location of places! Don't get me started with dates either. Geography and dates aren't my strong suit, but they were my husband's! I never worried about remembering these details, because I knew my other half had me covered. But now, I can look at photos of places we traveled and I have NO IDEA where we were and I also have NO IDEA about the year we did this travel! It is scary to me, because a divorce has ramifications that you may not have even considered. Yet this traumatic loss reverberates through every aspect of my life.
The article asks us all to consider...........What’s one memory from your past that still surprises you with how clear it feels?
Seriously this question is right up my alley, because if you ask me about feelings, my mind is like a professional databank of emotions. It is like a steel trap, where no feeling is ever forgotten. So there is NOT just ONE MEMORY for me, but THOUSANDS!
- This hotel had a pool. They put flippers on my feet one day, and despite kicking as hard as I could, I was drowning. Fortunately the guard on duty, Matteo, saved me. I will never forget that feeling of being sucked below the water line and being unable to breathe.
- This hotel has beautiful and unforgettable gardens. Truly magical. My grandmother and myself were sitting on a bench in the garden one day, and I accidently spilled a bit of my soda on the ground. Within minutes, I was literally covered in ants. Neither of us could get over how the ants swarmed around me.
- As a child, I shared a room with grandmother while staying at this hotel. At the time, there was a Contessa who frequently stayed there. As a kid, I was intrigued by her. She was an older woman and very elegant. When she swam in the pool, she always wore this adorable bonnet and cut through the water like a swan. During one of our stays at the hotel, she happened to have a room adjoining ours. Remember it was an OLD hotel, and the door between the rooms had a key hole. As a child, I would sit by the key hole, which gave me a view of the Contessa by her make up table. I used to love looking in and checking out her perfume bottles, beautiful hair brushes, and makeup. Naturally whenever my grandmother caught me, she would tell me to STOP it! But there was something magical or fairy book like at watching the Contessa.
No comments:
Post a Comment