Friday, August 22, 2025

Friday, August 22, 2025

Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2007. We were in Los Angeles visiting my parents. This was an annual trip, and Mattie loved it! Going to LA was always full of fun and adventures. That day, we visited the Zoo. It was SO HOT, that we bought Mattie the water bottle he was holding, that had a battery powered fan attached to it. Mattie thought that was a great invention... misting himself and then having the fan blowing on him! Don't you just love that smile? The adventures I had with Mattie Brown will never be forgotten. Here's the funny part, I lived in LA as a teenager and NEVER visited the Zoo. Mind you it was even close to our home! When Mattie came into our lives, he opened up a whole new world for all of us!

Quote of the day: It has taken awhile, but I certainly do know it now ­­– the most wonderful gift I had, the gift I finally learned to cherish above all else, was the gift of all those perfectly ordinary days. ~ Katrina Kenison

Last night, I got my dad into bed and propped up on all sides. I checked on him this morning, and he had moved, but wasn't slumped over. Which was a good start. I am hoping I can replicate what I did last night, because when my dad's back is in a better sleeping position, then it is much easier getting him out of bed in the morning. I truly hope that I am onto something and on the right path. Because it has been a very difficult week. I may have access to three different physical therapists and countless doctors, but guess who had to figure out everything? YES, ME, THE FAMILY CAREGIVER! Again not unique to Vicki, but the plight of all family caregivers. We are the ones who are resourceful, resilient, and persistent!

When I went downstairs to the basement to feed Indie, I noticed she once again pooped on an area rug. Same rug, different place on the rug. That makes it three times (Sunday, Monday, and Friday). Sunday, I felt she was sending me a message.... she wanted brand new litter! Monday, I figured it was just a reminder of her displeasure with me on Sunday, but then she used the litter box the rest of the week, until this morning. I can't tell you how upsetting this is and of course I naturally figure..... something is medically wrong with Indie. So at 7:15am, I called the vet. The lady on the phone was lovely! I told her the story and she consulted the vet. They feel that Indie's issues are behavioral. But just to rule out medical issues, I have moved her annual appointment up from November to September. They gave me the assignment of buying a NEW litter box. Here's the funny thing! Prior to Indie, we had Patches. Patches was with us for at least 15 years. During that time, she may have had two litter boxes in total. I keep the boxes very clean daily, so I have never had a cat poop outside of a box! I know it is common, but it is not common to me. We bought Indie a new litter box when we moved into the house in 2021. So to me this box is NEW. But the vet tells me that sometimes these plastic boxes need to be changed yearly! Perhaps, but to me it isn't the box, it isn't the litter and it isn't the position of the box. If it was one of these reasons, then why out of the blue is this happening now? 

The vet was saying that sometimes any changes in the house can set a cat off! The only recent change we had was the bathroom flood and my mom moving bathrooms (the bathroom associated with my husband's office) -- a room that Indie identifies as her own, and where she bonded by day with my husband. But my husband moved out in 2023. I was at that point that I thought Indie was going to lose it, after all Indie was closer to my husband than me. I was expecting Indie to be depressed and to not adjust well to this loss. But what Indie showed me was she was adaptable and she quickly moved her gravy train over to me. So the question is what explains the behavioral change now?

Switching gears, I was chatting back and forth with my friend in England today. We have never met each other, but we are bonded over the same thing... betrayal and abandonment. In any case, she was writing to me today about structure and the ordinary. Which is what triggered tonight's quote. I believe when facing grief and trauma, the best we can do is stick to routine and structure. Structure provides the patterns to hold us up each day, it keeps us in the present and also keep us engaged with life. I find altering from this structure, causes me great upset. When I have great upset, then I focus upon what has happened to me, something my brain still can't comprehend. I can't understand how I can miss someone and every aspect of our life together, whereas these feelings are not reciprocated.

What I do remember was when Mattie had cancer and we were living in the hospital, I used to reflect on how I wanted the ordinary, regular, and normal days back. I longed to be just like everyone else..... able to freely go grocery shopping, clean one's home, do laundry, and all the other daily tasks we gripe about, but which are actually blessings. They are blessings, because it means we have the freedom to do them, and are healthy enough to independently do them. I may be deeply distraught from being discarded as a wife, but I can still appreciate the magic of ordinary days. 

My mom said tonight's dinner was worth a photo! My dad LOVES shrimp. He would eat it daily if he had his way. I made shrimp scampi with arborio rice and broccoli with tarragon.