Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2007. Every August, I used to take Mattie to Los Angeles to visit with my parents. We always stayed two weeks and had all sorts of adventures together. Thank goodness, because we truly had to pack in a lifetime in only seven years. That afternoon, we took Mattie to Emilio's, a restaurant in Sherman Oaks, CA. My parents went to this restaurant every Friday, and Mattie loved the fountain that was on the patio of the restaurant! As you can see, he had no problem posing for a photo by the lion! When I look at this photo and compare it to my life now, it truly brings about great sadness. If anyone would have told me that Mattie was going to get diagnosed with cancer a year after this photo was taken, or that 17 years later, I would be divorced.... I wouldn't have believed any of it! I maybe living it, and yet there are still times I can't process or accept it.
Quote of the day: Betrayal is a more subtle, twisted feeling than terror. It burns and eats, but terror stabs right through. ~ Wendy Hoffman
I have three different physical therapists working on a strategy to get my dad out of bed in the morning. We are all trying to figure out why he slides down the bed while sleeping. When I put him to bed, I have him propped up perfectly! With all the wedges and pillows I am using, you would think it would be impossible for him to move. But he never ceases to amaze me. If my dad would remain in an upright position, then by morning, getting him out of bed would be much easier. But lying down flat is the kiss of death for him, as this causes him intense back pain. Therefore, trying to sit him up and move his legs over the bed onto the floor are excruciatingly painful. My dad has no understanding for how heavy he is or how difficult it is for me to move him, he just expects me to do the work. I am a lot of things, but stupid isn't one of them. Therefore I realize I have to be physically careful because if I get injured this whole circus show stops functioning.
After I dropped my dad off at his memory care center, I then went to my Geek Squad appointment. I met a tech and got information about my phone and booked another appointment for next week, to get someone to work with me on how to back up my computer files. I do not understand the mechanics of what my husband set up in our home and I can't get our external drive to work either. There are some topics I am NOT well versed in and technology is one of them. In jest, I would always say to my husband that together, we had the skill sets to deal with just about anything we had to face in life. Which was truthful, and probably the reason why we were able to start up a non-profit from scratch and run it without paid staff. It is a major life adjustment for me to navigate life without my other half. I HATE IT and NEVER SIGNED UP FOR THIS.
Later today, I was juggling a grant support application for Mattie Miracle, and working with our CPA to complete our Foundation's 990 and other materials for our financial audit. I would love a day when I am not juggling anything, or worried about a problem or an issue. In the midst of doing paperwork, caregiving, water plants and other yard issues, I also cooked dinner.
Tonight I made a chicken meatloaf with onions, carrots, mushrooms, and broccoli. Beans with fresh mint and lemon, and my corn with tomato and basil salad.
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