Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2007. Every August, we took Mattie to Los Angeles to visit with my parents. That day we went to Griffith Park, a Mattie favorite. The irony was I lived close to Griffith Park when I was in high school, yet it took having Mattie to get us to visit the park and explore it! It is an amazing park, filled with something for everyone..... the LA Zoo, a train museum (Travel Town), train rides, pony rides, and a Dentzel Carousel. Mattie loved this Park so much that every time we visited LA, we went to Griffith Park. How different our Augusts looked back then! These were happy and more innocent times. Before I learned about the horrors of childhood cancer and about abandonment and betrayal from the person I trusted the most.
Quote of the day:...the grief would always linger, a ghost that would haunt every happy moment in her life until it became all she knew. ~ Jennifer L. Armentrout
The saga about getting my dad in and out of bed continues. One of my dad's physical therapists recommended that I have my dad sit on a pillow while he is sleeping, in hopes that the pillow would prevent him from sliding down the bed. Well, I tried to place my dad on top of a pillow last night, and it was a BAD plan. He was so wobbly on the pillow, I thought he was going to fall out of bed. So I got him up, removed the pillow and got him back into bed. It literally took me thirty minutes to get him into bed last night and positioned correctly. I can't quite put into words how frustrated I am with this whole process. My dad is unable to help himself in any way and thinks that I can move him without a problem. WRONG! My dad is dead weight and impossible to move, much less budge.
This morning, as soon as I got up, before feeding Indie, I went into my parent's bedroom, hoping to find my dad propped up! FORGET IT! He was slumped over on the right, leaning on the bed rail, and had slid down the bed. I worked for 15 minutes to straighten him back up, which meant standing on the bed, behind him, and pushing his back up, to prop pillows behind him. Why is it important for him to be propped up? Because his convoluted slumped position aggravates his back, making him scream in pain whenever he has to move. Not to mention that it is impossible to get him out of bed when his back hurts. I have discussed getting a hospital bed with my dad's therapist, and it may come down to this, not for his benefit, but for mine. A hospital bed would give me more options to work with my dad. However, whether my dad is in his current bed or a hospital bed, he is still going to slump to the right. There appears to be no amount of wedges and pillows to stop this leaning!
This afternoon, my dad had a follow up appointment with his cardiologist. I LOVE my dad's cardiologist. He is a class act. Bright, competent, compassionate, and KNOWS his patient's needs, reactions, and history! When my dad was in the hospital, the hospital changed all of his blood pressure medications. This caused havoc on my dad! I learned today, that when one of my dad's blood pressure meds is stopped quickly (as it was when he was admitted to the hospital), this causes a spike in his blood pressure. So on discharge, the hospital prescribed medications to lower his blood pressure. But there really wasn't anything wrong with his blood pressure, if he was kept on his original medications. This is an important fact to know, and it arms me with the knowledge to fight these changes in the future. My dad is very sensitive to medications and therefore the doctors who know him, know that changing his medications is NEVER a good idea, unless absolutely necessary.
A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with my breast surgeon about the doctors coming out of medical school today. She is a lot like my dad's cardiologist, invested in her patients. She told me she was concerned about who was going to take care of her in the future! Ironically my dad's cardiologist had a similar conversation with us today. I was telling him about my experiences with medical residents and he told me so many use AI to diagnose patients rather than logic, reasoning, knowledge, and clinical experience. If this doesn't frighten the hell out of you, it should! My dad's cardiologist was telling my mom that being a physician requires a certain amount of intelligence, but that this isn't what ultimately makes an excellent doctor. He went on to talk about the art of medicine. Well this whole conversation reminded me of the argument I had my with dad's foot doctor a few weeks ago. I told the cardiologist today about this argument. I told him that the foot doctor highly recommended her tech to medical school. I have known the tech for years, as she sees my dad every 9 weeks! However, this tech in my opinion is dopey. She never makes eye contact, doesn't talk with us, doesn't get to know me or my dad, but goes through the motions. When the foot doctor said this tech got into medical school and that she highly recommended her, I literally said, I AM SORRY! I told her this was the last thing I was expecting to hear, because I do not think medicine is a good fit for this young woman. My foot doctor and I got in such a heated discussion, we landed up not talking to each other for the rest of the medical visit. Today's conversation with my dad's cardiologist, confirmed everything I was saying to the foot doctor. Being a physician is a noble calling, and those doctors who listen, communicate with patients, encourage patients to play an active role in their medical care, are the ones who rise to the top. After all, if a doctor can't listen to a patient and understand the presenting problem from a patient's perspective, then I believe a lot will be missing that could contribute to a more accurate diagnosis and treatment plan! I am saddened that this foot doctor does not have this understanding and I am also saddened that there is a whole crop of new doctors out there guided solely by data and artificial intelligence. Human beings are greater than their medical data!
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