Wednesday, March 31, 2021

Wednesday, March 31, 2021

Tonight's picture was taken in April of 2004, during Mattie's second birthday party. I remember my mom snapping this photo right before the party began. Mattie had a train themed party and by that year, Mattie mastered the concept of having family over to celebrate! Mattie loved anything with wheels, so he was very excited to see all the train decorations.

Quote of the day: Today's coronavirus update from Johns Hopkins.

• Number of people diagnosed with the virus: 30,458,572
• Number of people who died from the virus: 552,019

It was another crazy day in paradise today. Thankfully my parents had no reaction to the second COVID vaccine. After breakfast, my dad got it in his head that he wanted to look at tax documents! Given that he is an accountant by training, I get his desire to want to return to doing things he used to do. However, given his extensive cognitive decline, I am concerned that not only will this be too stressful, but it will also be completed incorrectly. Needless to say, chaos ensued for an hour for my mom and me with my dad. 

I was determined to write a posting on Facebook about my friend, Margy. It literally took me hours since I was constantly juggling things and got interrupted. But below is my tribute to Margy!

On March 28, my dear friend, Margy, died from a three-year journey with ovarian cancer. Though I write daily for Mattie Miracle, I find it hard to write anything about my friend. That isn’t because I am at a loss for words, but because there is SO SO MUCH to highlight. How do you effectively capture the life of a person who means so much to you? Given my loss of Mattie, you would think I would be adept at this!

I met Margy through Facebook in 2015. We had a mutual friend in the childhood cancer community, so I sent Margy a friend request. She immediately accepted but that wasn't where our connection ended. Instead, Margy wanted to learn more about me, Mattie, and our Foundation. It wasn't out of curiosity, instead I learned it was because Margy truly loved people and I believe she was put on this earth to help children with cancer and their families.

 

Margy spent the first year of our friendship reading EVERY posting on Mattie's blog. Since I have been writing every day for 12 years, that was a lot of reading and a true time commitment! Not only did she read my postings, but she left comments on Mattie's blog. Comments which I will always cherish. This was Margy, she invested deeply and with her whole heart into all her relationships. 

Margy had the ability of making you feel special, important, and cherished. This wasn't only with me, this was with everyone she touched. She selflessly gave of herself, listened intently, and remembered whatever you shared. Though some people would be emotionally drained from giving of oneself in such a selfless manner, for Margy this kind of giving energized her. 

I only knew Margy for six years, but in our six years together, we visited with each other monthly. In between we always text messaged. I can’t believe my friend will not be on the other end of a text or email. Our messages weren’t just a hi, how are you? No! Instead, our conversations verbally and in writing were deep. We covered hard topics like loss, living with grief, other life challenges, being childless and the list goes on. Through our talks I got to know Margy, "the Play Lady,” and all the children she helped directly through play, creative arts, emotional support, tickets to events in the DC area, and even mini grants. It did not matter how long ago Margy helped a child. She remembered each and every one. 

Margy devoted her life to meeting the psychosocial needs of children with cancer and their families. Which may be why we understood each other and had similar views about how to support children with cancer. As Margy's work intimately proved to her that childhood cancer is NOT just about the medicine. Through Margy, I heard stories about the children she worked with, and it wasn't just recounting tales, Margy LOVED the families she supported, and she remembered every detail about each child she helped. She took pride in her work and I wish Margy would have had the chance to meet my Mattie, as I feel they would have loved each other. 

What did I love about Margy? Here are 10 reasons (well there could be 100s, but I will stick with 10): 1) Her devotion to her husband, children, grandchildren, sisters, brothers, family and friends, 2) her ability to make you feel like you were the only person in the room, and she wanted to connect with YOU, 3) her compassionate heart for understanding that bereaved moms need support and we want to have our children remembered, 4) her love for her friend and colleague Kimber, a pediatric nurse who died from kidney cancer, 5) her courage, strength and hope she provided to hundreds of children, 6) her visits to my Mattie’s memorial tree during every holiday, to hang a special ornament on the tree in his memory, 7) her love of desserts and ice cream, 8) her love and respect for Karen, a child who died from cancer, which led to the creation of Growing Hope (a foundation Margy ran for over 20 years), 9) for freely admitting when she loved something or someone, and 10) her courage, strength, grace and dignity she showed all of us during her cancer journey. 

Because of the Pandemic, I have missed my face to face visits with Margy. This leaves me saddened that I did not get a chance to say goodbye to her. But in true Margy spirit, she left me a message, so that I have NO DOUBT how she felt, she decided to have friends and family contribute to Mattie Miracle in lieu of flowers. That is Margy’s last gift to me, and she knew I would understand it. As usual, even in death, Margy is thinking about helping children with cancer. 

Margy would always sign off with me…. “I love you Vicki Brown.” Therefore, it seems only fitting that I end this posting by saying, “I love you Margy Jost.” Your presence will remain alive within me, Mattie Miracle, and in every life you touched.